(Credit Image: Della Calfee) Titled "Ass Like That"

It is a well-known fact that, when it comes to sex, men and women are very different. Or are they? Sai Gaddam claims to have proven that in his large-scale study, and he’s a neuroscientist. If you ask him, he’ll tell you that “To appeal to a man, whether straight or gay, it’s enough to entice his body with visual images. To appeal to a woman, you have to speak to her mind and seek approval from it.” He explains homosexuality, bisexuality and transsexuality as a result of male and female sexual software being swapped around. Incidentally, he also believes that gay men have larger penises than straight men. I’m not the only one who is gobsmacked by how he presents theory as fact and uses selective data to back what he already believes. And just in case you were curious (I was, so I checked), the penis size one is based on very old data where men were asked how big their penises were, and we all know men never lie about that!

More recently, a team from the University of Michigan took a critical look at research on which we base much of what we think we know about sexuality and gender. In their paper “Women, Men, and the Bedroom: Methodological and Conceptual Insights That Narrow, Reframe, and Eliminate Gender Differences in Sexuality” they once and for all put to rest some stubborn and unsubstantiated old wives’ tales. Turns out we do like sex after all and we’re not just shopping for good genes for our children. Who would have thought? You know the one about men wanting a partner who is sexy and women a partner with status? Not true. And the one about women wanting and having fewer sexual partners than men? A close look at the numbers from previous research showed that there is no difference in the desired number of partners. And what about the actual number of sexual partners? Well, any differences disappeared when the men and women were connected to a (fake) lie detector and were therefore forced to tell the truth. So, no gender differences in sexual appetites either. But surely men think about sex more often than women do? Well, when men were asked to think about sex, food and sleep, they did think about all three more than women did. So it’s not sex, it’s simply that men are more attentive to their own needs. Okay, then what about all the stuff we keep hearing about women having orgasms less frequently than men? Well, it depends. If their partner knows what he/she is doing, the difference disappears. And, finally, is it true that women like casual sex less than men do? Turns out that if the person offering is attractive and known to be good in bed, plus there’s no danger of being stigmatised for sleeping around (because we all know that a woman who sleeps with someone who turns her on is a total slut…), then a woman is just as likely to say yes as a man is. This content is for members only. Continue reading »