Reality Friends in ‘Most Eligible Dallas,’ Premiering July 15

Most Eligible Dallas: Image: (l-r) Tara Harper, Matt Nordgren, Drew Ginsburg, Courtney Kerr, Glenn Pakulak, Neill Skylar — Photo by: Robert Ascroft/Bravo

There’s a new reality show on Bravo TV called Most Eligible Dallas, premiering Monday, August 15, where hot men and women meet-up, hookup and hangout around the city of Dallas. Most Eligible: Dallas shows the life of beauty queens to pro-football players, this group of Texas socialites proves that everything’s bigger in Texasnot forgetting a bit of flirty, sexy and cock-blocking friend drama along the way—this is going to be fun to watch!

Dallas serves as the sexy backdrop for this jaw-dropping series that follows a group of successful friends living it up in the lone star [state]. One of the interesting ideas which I like is the cast are real adults interacting, who have lives, are into their careers, looking for that perfect relationship, or in Matt’s case not—reminds me of “Reality Friends.”This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Gods of the Arena

John Hannah returns as Batiatus in Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. image: Starz Entertainment, LLC

Just as with its predecessor—Spartacus: Blood and Sand—it is difficult to quantify the quality of its prequel follow up Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. Violent, sexual and gratuitous in its excess—Gods of the Arena premiered January 21st on Starz, initially picking up where Blood and Sand left off. The first few moments of the series premiere see John Hannah—returning as Batiatus—lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, with Spartacus standing over him. In what would seem to be the final moments of his life, Batiatus begins to reflect on how he arrived where he is—thus setting up this season long flashback. Continue reading »

Undertow (Contracorriente)

U.S. Theatrical Poster for Undertow. image: undertowfilm.com

Every so often a film comes along that portrays life and love in such a way that people take notice. 2002’s My Big Fat Greek Wedding provided this for women everywhere looking for their “Prince Charming” as well as the freedom to marry for love—ironically, even in the 21st Century many don’t. 2005’s Brokeback Mountain provided a touching look at homosexuality sans depravity, showing every hetero and homosexual man that love is love. Two examples of great film, both garnering several nominations and awards—My Big Fat Greek Wedding was nominated for the Best Original Screenplay Oscar and won the People’s choice Award for Favorite Comedy Motion Picture; while Brokeback Mountain won the Best Director Oscar (Ang Lee) and Best Writing, Adapted Screenplay. Both films achieved mainstream status, both depicting a tale of love that, while unconventional, still had Fairy Tale qualities. It is this “fairy tale” quality that has been achieved by a far lesser known film—Undertow. Continue reading »

Keeping an Open Mind…and Marriage

Memoir is not my favorite genre, I must confess. So when I was asked to be a judge for the bisexual category of the 2008 Lambda Literary Awards, I was skeptical of those memoirs that came my way. Jenny Block’s Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage (Seal Press, 2008) soon overcame my doubts.

In the prologue, Block begins, “This is a story about a girl who grew up believing what many girls believe—that one day she would fall in love with the man of her dreams, marry him, have kids, and live happily every after. Yet as she grew older, all she felt was confused.” This book is fundamentally a road map describing Block‘s exploration of her confusion and a travelogue of her willingness to go in a direction many would call off-road in terms of relationships.

The first part of Block‘s story reads as typical. She lost her virginity at 17-years-old, she had lovers in college, she found man, she settled down. After the birth of their daughter, their sex life got rocky. Block discovered she had a higher sex drive than her husband. They decided to work it out, but she also asked herself some questions about whether or not she was married to the right man or whether or not she was a lesbian. She and her husband explored and eventually she went a little further. Block found a woman who eventually became her girlfriend. Block was in an open marriage, something that doesn’t look like what most people would think.

Believe me, there are no spoilers here because Block uses her prologue to lay out the basic facts of her story. Those facts by themselves are not interesting. The story engages you from chapter one precisely, because it is not a mere chronicle.  Block starts right off by examining each stage of her life in order to understand how she got where she is today.  In chapter one, she takes stock of  the messages that society sends young girls and then moves on to talk about her own sexual awakening. Block continues to go back and forth between holding society up to a lens and examining how her experiences and desires fit into those expectations—or not.

What comes across clearly is Block’s willingness to take chances and look at her own actions. She is very aware of those around her and clearly cares a great deal about them. Block is honest about her need for sexual fulfillment, and also shows thoughtfulness and consideration. It’s not all about her. Her sexual and affective needs are not merely personal but also philosophical. Society’s norms regarding heterosexuality and monogamy were not working for her and Block decided to do what worked for her and her family.

Block rounds out her book by including a chapter on the steps to having an open marriage. It’s not so much a how-to, as lessons learned for her and her husband’s exploration. In fact, proof of the effectiveness of the communication within the family and the strength of their marriage, is the epilogue her husband Christopher provides.

Block’s frankness is supported by her clear and direct prose. She tells her story simply, also providing references, some statistics and quotations from leading feminists and sex experts. All in all, I was struck by Block’s sincerity, forthright treatment of the subject, and willingness to share her story. I recommend it to bisexuals because it offers a look into the nature of relationships and the various possibilities and permutations thereof without a political agenda. This is the story of one woman, her husband and her girlfriend. Take what lessons you may.

Open won the bisexual category of the  2008 Lambda Literary Awards.

Talking About Bisexual And Lesbian Politics

Paula C. Rodriguez Rust/Mediakit

A few months ago, when the whole “Lesbian Mafia” controversy happened, I decided I wanted to learn more about the lesbian/bisexual divide, and I started looking for an academic book on the subject. I ran across the book “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution (The Cutting Edge : Lesbian Life and Literature Series.” I skimmed the reviews of the book and it looked like it was pretty balanced so I decided to read it. Unfortunately the last edition was published in 1995—but it seemed like at least some of it was still relevant today.

The author of the book, Paula C. Rodriguez Rust, is someone who has experienced the lesbian/bisexual divide first hand; she had come out as a lesbian and considered herself one until she got involved with a man. She then experienced first hand the rejection several women in the lesbian community face—if they engage in bisexual behavior. She still considered herself a lesbian, but she began to think more about bisexuality, about bisexual women, and about her own attitudes towards bisexuality. Even though her relationship [ended], she still was interested in bisexuality and decided to do a study of people’s attitudes and perceptions of it, in both the lesbian and bisexual communities. Although, she still considers herself a lesbian indentified female sociologist, she also now thinks of sexuality as a continuum.

The book starts by talking about how bisexuality is and has been viewed and covered in the lesbian and gay press; at first it was barely mentioned, or treated as a joke, but since the late 80’s, it began to be mentioned more, with both positive and negative results. Some readers of the publications wrote in and said they didn’t have a problem with it, but it seemed more did, and they felt that it wasn’t something that should be discussed in a gay or lesbian magazine. The author then went on to discuss how the political interests of the lesbian community had developed since the Stonewall riots. The actual study—both lesbians and bisexual women were asked questions at pride events, and some were also recruited to fill out questionnaires that asked questions such as “does bisexuality exist?” “What do you think of bisexuals?” and “how does bisexuality affect gay and lesbian politics?”

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What the author found was that lesbians of different races, educational levels, and social classes seemed to share the same ranges of attitudes about bisexual women. These attitudes ranged from “it doesn’t exist.” “It’s a cop-out.” “Bisexuals are really gay and can’t admit it,” [or "everyone is bisexual to some degree" and “I feel bisexual women have to put up with a lot.” What I found most interesting was that a majority of the lesbians interviewed, including the ones who believed bisexuality exists and were sympathetic and or welcoming of bisexual women. [They said] that they had a hard time relating to bisexual women and imagining themselves in their place. Lesbians who had once identified as bisexual themselves indicated that they had a bit of an easier time, but it was difficult for many of them as well. Eighty percent of lesbians interviewed, felt that lesbians experience [is] much more discriminatory  than bisexual women; and only twenty percent felt that bisexuals experienced a great deal of prejudice.

The findings were both interesting and startling, when it came to the attitudes of bisexual women. While many of course believed bisexuality existed, there were some that didn’t, and indicated that they felt confused and also thought most bisexuals were confused—even though they identified as bisexual. Many also stated that being bisexual was harder than being straight or gay, and that they felt invisible and that because of this, they chose to identify as lesbians.

As the author interviewed more bisexual women, she found that 1 in 3 of them [lesbian] believed bisexuality was the norm and most people were bisexual to some degree. Yet 84 percent had identified as lesbians at some point in their lives, and 51 percent agreed with the statement that “it is more acceptable to be bisexual.” Some people who are really lesbians say they are bisexual and 44 percent indicated that they believed bisexuality could be a transitional identity, and felt that they identified more with the lesbian community than the bisexual one. Only 14 percent said they felt like they identified with the bisexual community. As the author stated at the end of the study, the two most striking findings were the extent to which bisexual women’s attitudes towards bisexuality resembled those of the lesbians, and the extent to which bisexual women felt a lack of their own community and their own political interests.

The good news is that as this study was done in 1995, both the attitudes of many lesbians and many bisexual women have changed significantly, and there is now much more of a bisexual community, more tolerance in the gay and lesbian communities (though we still have a long way to go), and more voices that speak for the political interests of the bisexual community. However, I have noticed that there are still a significant number of bisexuals who don’t feel connected to their community; or don’t want to use the term “bisexual.”  That really struck me as something that hasn’t changed enough since the book was written. What this book made me wonder was “how can we who are active in the bisexual community, reach out to more bisexual people (especially young people) so that [bisexuals] feel they have a community to identify with—and aren’t afraid of  the “b” word?

Overall I found the book very interesting and well written, and I do recommend it. The main drawback is that the study [was written in 1995]. I would be very interested to see a current follow up—I’m sure it would answer a lot of questions.

Review: Experience At The Envisioning Workshop

BLGT Museum planning session. Photo courtesy of: STEVE ROTHAUS / MiamiHerald.com/gay

In early March, I was contacted by bisexual activist and author Loraine Hutchins, who said a group called The Velvet Foundation, a nonprofit organization founded by CEO Timothy S. Scofield, was sponsoring a project to put together a BLGT museum in Washington DC in the next few years, and would be having an Envisioning Workshop about it on March 25 and 26. She had been invited as the bisexual representative, but she couldn’t make it. Would I be willing to go in her place? Feeling a little nervous, but thinking this was an opportunity not to be missed, I said sure, and hoped to be able to write about it.

I was later contacted by Scofield, who was very welcoming, warm, and helpful in giving me all the information that was necessary. The Velvet Foundation’s website states that:

“The purpose of the Velvet Foundation is to collect, preserve, and interpret artifacts and other tangible and intangible objects pertaining to, or associated with, the history and culture in the United States of America of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other persons of non-traditional sexual orientation or gender identity (“LGBT Experience”) and to establish, support, operate, and promote a national museum chronicling the LGBT Experience.”

Questions the pre-workshop packed focused on included: what should be major themes and messages in museum exhibitions? Which BLGT human rights organizations should the museum collaborate with? What kinds of exhibits and themes would attract people regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc., and connect with them in ways that will motivate them to visit the museum? Besides BLGT history and culture, what other attributes can make it unique?

The workshop was at The Artists Inn Residence in Washington, DC, a beautiful antique hotel. The guest list included many notable BLGT activists such as Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop, Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, Cathy Renna, of Renna Communications, which specializes in BLGT issues, Sylvia Rhue, director of religious affairs for the National Black Justice Coalition, Richard LaFortune, a Native American two-spirit activist, Samuel Thoron, former national president of PFLAG, Steve Rothaus, Gay Issues Reporter for the Miami Herald, and many others.

Focusing on the BLGT History Archives. Photo courtesy of: STEVE ROTHAUS / MiamiHerald.com/gay

It was great to see that the workshop had made a noticeable effort to be diverse, and to include bi and trans[sexual] people as well. Much of the workshop focused on marketing; and on many of the main questions in the pre-packet. Other focuses were on how to make the experience of living as a BLGT person real for non-BLGT people, reaching out to allies, BLGT history and activism (I mentioned Brenda Howard). Another important point was that BLGT people, history, and culture are an important part of and have made several contributions to American history and culture.

The workshop was very inclusive the whole time; people used inclusive terms such as GLBT and queer, and bisexuals and transgender people were mentioned several times. Everyone was friendly and professional, and I got many questions about Bi Social Network.

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We discussed some national BLGT archives that will be used to supply information for the museum, such as The Rainbow History Project in DC, which has as one of its sources a significant archive of bisexual history.  Most of the archives were inclusive of bisexual history, and I also told those cataloging the archives about the Bisexual Resource Center, which has many bi resources and history archives. Both days we were divided up into small groups and discussed ways to make the museum interesting. Some great and creative ideas people came up with were: creating a BLGT computer history timeline, where visitors could jump from event to event; an exhibit about BLGT research and science; exhibits focusing on ways to embrace differences in the BLGT community; and an international piece focusing on BLGT communities all over the world.

Overall, the workshop was a very positive experience and it was a privilege to have attended. I met a lot of great people, learned a lot, and am excited and hopeful that through this museum we in the BLGT community can come together and embrace our commonality; as well as reach out to those outside of the community.

Gay Movie ‘Ciao’ Hits Emotional ‘Before Sunrise’ High

Okay, I’m not impressed with many BLGT movies of late, but I just had to tell you about this gay movie I watched Easter Sunday called ‘Ciao.’ It’s a gay “Before Sunrise” where dialog, emotion and friendship is the normal of the plot. I really liked this!

Here’s the bio:

A young man’s death [car accident]  is the unlikely catalyst for a trans-continental friendship — and maybe more — between his ex-lover and a sexy Italian Internet buddy in this poignant story of love and loss.

I’m known for liking very sad depressed movies, so if you like a bit of drama, romantic and unexpected emotion, you have to watch this film.

If you want to buy it, check it out on TLA Video!

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