Term 'new bisexual' shows biphobia in gay community
Chicago—Living in Chicago, seeing division is an everyday life occurrence. If you are straight, you only go to straight bars or events. If you’re gay, you only go to gay bars and events. If you’re lesbian, you only go to women only bars and events, and if you’re a gay or lesbian, bisexual or transgender, who happens to be of color—you might only go to a place that has people of color at the event.
Round-and-around, we continue to want to separate ourselves to people like us—but is it a good thing? That’s a debate the BLGT community is starting to have. From black bisexual baseball players that just want to eh, play some ball. To bisexuals on the internet; speaking out on fitting into the gay and lesbian community, or not—and to the ‘new bisexual’ topics cropping up all over gay and lesbian publications? What’s going on that our own community is attacking the bisexual community who want to be seen, like everyone else?
What is the New Bisexual?
After just having a radio show talking about baseball and heckling the President of the United States, I wanted to relax at my favorite local restaurant (Heartland Café) and read the current BLGT publication of Chicago Free Press (CFP). As I often do, I like to check out what’s happening in our community, see if there’s any bisexual article, which mostly is far and few between, but low and behold there’s one called “The new bisexuals,” by my not to favorite opinion columnist Jennifer Vanasco. Every time I read anything dealing with bisexuality from her, she goes on topic of “bar bisexual,” or anything of that area when speaking to lesbians—about what it means to be a true bisexual, if at all
I wonder if those self-identifying girls call themselves bisexual because they’re actually attracted to women or because they think it’s sexier—and cooler—to calling themselves bisexual and occasionally kiss girls for show.
What Does Biphobia Look Like?
This is straight from “Bisexual Resources Center, a great bisexual activist non-profit telling it like it is.
…”Thinking that people identify as bisexual because it ‘trendy.”
Now, the funny thing is is that this article was supposedly trying to get lesbians to see our point-of-view. Well, at the end of it, I found what Vanasco was trying to say, right at the last paragraph.
But what I do know is that: The LGBT community hasn’t always been great about welcoming and reaching out to and understanding supporting bisexuals. But if we want this flood of young women to support us, this has got to change. — Jennifer Vanasco
See my point? Vanasco doesn’t even understand that this very article is biphobic in the worse way. New bisexuals are just being “trendy. ’It talks all about ‘new bisexuals’ as if they are cropping out from the ground and becoming band new babies the BLGT community can love and take into the fold. You know, I now see you, that you might be real, just oh, a bit misguided and need help from the gay and lesbian community to set you on the right path. What the Fuck!
Vanasco listen. Because you go on trying to bridge gaps about what a new bisexuals really is or isn’t needs to be done in a better way. Why not contact one and get their perspective. Hey, use our Contact Us form above and interview Bi Social Network; we’re been around for over a year now. I welcome it! Ask for Adrienne Williams. Because right now, from the bisexuality perspective, there isn’t any new bisexual, you are now just looking at all the real facets of our community.
What Bi Social Network Wants to do!
As a social community site, we want to hear from you! Speak your mind and give use tips, if you see an article on the internet or in print where biphobic is loud and clear! We will feature it here! You can contact us, or go to our facebook account @bisocialnetwork or tweet us @bisocialnetwork! We want to know what you are seeing out there too!
To learn more about Bisexual Resource Center, check out their website for more tips on what biphobia really looks like! You’re might be surprised! www.biresource.org.
To contact Chicago Free Press you can write them at news@chicagofreepress.com and tell them what a real bisexual looks like. We’re all for setting the story bi.
About bisocialnetwork
In many ways, I’d like to go to a “Bi” Bar, mainly so I can feel a greater level for acceptance and safety. The safety part is mainly to feel safe from ridicule. If you are a Bi male( and I have yet to see this happen like it happen to a female bisexual) that they cattily pull you into a large discussion about choosing and how we undermine the image of gays. And I can never get a word in edgewise so I do not frequent them. It’s truly a feeling of belonging we look for that we are not getting and that is a direct result of Bi-phobia.
The artist that does a wonderful web comic had to admit to me that there were points of Bi-erasure that she had to deal with in her comic called YU+ME a Surreal Lesbian Comic. She is still unsure how to fix them all, as her partner is a bi female and such, and the love interest in her comic is also, but she at least was ready and willing to admit she was not aware of the problem when she started the comic at 16.
What I am trying to say is: She grew up and embraced love in a Bisexual female. When are the rest of them going to stop the pressure on unfortunate bisexuals to conform to their expectations and make men and women hide themselves to gain acceptance? Because it is a direct result of the erasure and fear many decide to hide and say what they needs to hear that they lose their fear of them and add another person to their list of,”Said they were Bi and it turned out they weren’t…Must mean their are no such thing as bisexuals….”
We continue to see bisexuals remove themselves for the term just to satisfy their lesbian, gay or straight friends, because they are not happy or comfortable with the term ‘bisexual.’ They use terms like ‘queer’ and ‘fluid’ and “I don’t want to label myself’ just to ease the issues with the gay and lesbian community. It’s a shame because the only way we are going to move forward with acceptance is to own the term and damn be it to others who are ashamed of it, and fear it and despise it and want to run away from it.
I’m a bisexualist, and proud of it. As I stated this site isn’t for all, it’s not 100 percent for bring people to our side, but to lift the hypocrisy that is fear and denial, and to bring truth about what is going on all over this national about groups who want rights, but deny someone ownership of who they are. thanks for commenting, I love reading your viewpoints.
Brilliantly put. I hid from the word until I was over 40 and with my partner for a number of years. Yes, my partner knew my history of being able to love men or women and my strictly monogamous dating history…. but I shunned the word. I refused to call myself bisexual and despite thinking my behaviour, politics and attitudes would speak for me. But this only allowed people to either assume I was a lesbian or a straight ally (depending on my partner of the time and circumstances).
I came late to embracing the term and the activism that comes with that, but now I do really dislike the ‘I don’t want to label myself’ mantra that I used to embrace because it judges negatively those of us who (now) do use the word. And it reinforces biphobia. And, to my mind, it is cowardly — yes, “Bisexual” is a misused and misunderstood word but it won’t become any better understood by shunning it. Yes, come people use it as a ‘dirty’ word against us, but ‘gay’ and ‘queer’ were once dirty words thrown at BLGTQ people and now we have managed to invert the hatred and use the terms in unifying and joyous ways. They are ‘our’ terms now. ‘Bisexual’ needs to similarly be embraced as ‘our own word, goshdamnit!’ and we need to force the world at large to shed their stupid concepts about it.
That does not mean there aren’t other words to help describe the many and varied bi people that abound. It does not negate there coming into wide use a much better term in the future. What is means is that unless & until other term(s) come to the fore, we do not sink into the mire of self-flagellation that comes with stubornly avoiding the term or joining in the maligning of it and those who use it.