One of the interesting parts of being a founder of anything is that most of the time, you are in the background or behind the scenes, trying to reach out to others, network, and connect with real live people who can hopefully make your life better in some tangible way. Or, that’s how I envisioned it in my mind at the start of Bi Social Network.
Right now, I have so many ideas going around in my head at 1 a.m. in the morning, two days shy of Bi Pride Day on September 23, and yet, some part of me can’t help but think back to the day that I woke up from a yearlong fog, of sadness, bitterness and loss of every tangible thing I’ve worked so hard for or owned, the start of the corporate layoffs. But what they say is true: “You don’t understand loss and success until you reach the bottom and have no way of seeing clearly how to get out.”
The Start of a Vision
This was me close to three years ago. At the start of creating Bi Social Network—strange as always, it was the middle of a night of insomnia, when my ideas are often formed. I’d been a part of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community since college ended, but moving forward my friends and I started to feel invisible instead of truly connected. In the past, gay and lesbian friends shared their lives with me, and I with them, but nowhere was there a true place for bi media, pop culture, networking and entertainment for the bi community in 2009. Nothing, and I needed to help change all that.
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Again, that was one of my nights of insomnia. I started to plan a vision of where I wanted to go on the web, what I wanted to see, and what news I wanted to read. I thought about the people I wanted to meet and connect with, even if it only through writing a blog. After a few months of working out the kinks (dating a marketing researcher at the time really came in handy) entered Maria, my first writer, who’s still with me today; then Peter, Adam, Chris, Robert, AC, Ronete, and Deandre; others coming for short times, some staying and some moving on. A connection was being formed. How did I even think I would do it alone? That was in 2010.
‘Kudo for the “White House” Bi celebration invite!’ —feedback
Fast forward to 400 e-mails a week, interviews, more and more LGBT and mainstream media asking me about Bi Social Network, and an inquiry from and subsequent visit to the White House. It’s all sorts of unbelievable, really. A community reached out and connected with not only me, but with each other, through e-mails, chat rooms, and Facebook® pages that were created overnight. Strangers wanted to join not only on our fan page, but to create other bi micro sites. We had continuous logins after the upgrades, signups (sometimes follks wishing there weren’t any signups) and people who reached out in so many ways. Some were afraid to share their stories online, but managed to e-mail me to say, “Hey, I love what you’re doing, don’t stop.” From the country of the Netherlands, there was a brand new service we started to support teens, housewives, lost husbands, and fearful family members who think they could be bi. There was reach out in the form of Bi Life with Ronete Cohen, my rock in a sea of insomnia. A transgender writer named Koka reached out to share her love of yoga with our readers as a Special Contributor. These were all small things but with one connection. I’m bi, and oh yes, I’m visible. There’s that word again.
‘Just wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed reading the articles on this site. It’s nice that black bisexuality isn’t just about depressing ’down-low’ shock-horror news.’ — Feedback
In November 2010, we started working on the “I Am Visible’ campaign. For me, one success of that campaign was reaching Jamie, who lives in Glasgow and was so proud to come out as bi at school, holding the ‘I am Visible’ bracelet that he ordered. The pain he felt as the result of bullying by gay youth was his burden, and yet, we connected all around the world through that campaign. Bi people connected and made a difference through that effort, and I’m grateful to those who contributed videos, songs, stories, and love, in order to make a difference.
A new direction: Magazines, TV, Radio, and a Foundation?
We’re now moving forward with new ideas, such as BSN TV which will hopefully connect even more people in 2012; and more shows on Bi Talk Radio, including other personalities that discuss bi men’s issues, opposite-sex bi relationships, and talking about how marriage can be bi too in the LGBT community. We’re even looking at perhaps creating a foundation in the future. So many thoughts and projects I want to do—in due time.
We reach into the hearts and minds of the bi community hoping to have a voice that will increase our visibility once and for all. But no movement, no one persona, no one thing can do it all—only a collective of ideas. We’re excited for our first ever fundraiser to help us develop something I’ve always wanted from the start— a Bi Magazine. We are about to leave a bigger footprint on American culture and show the world we have always been here. Bi Social Magazine is about to be created, and with this comes responsibilities: editors, photographers, artists, interviews, news, and politics. We want you to join us and help this because a reality, as we at Bi Social Network continue to listen, support, rant, interview, donate and reflect on our evolving bisexual community and its issues. I feel this is the most important idea and dream for us, and I hope you join me on the journey of bi visibility. Can you feel it? Yes, after all we have Bi Pride all year long!
To support this new project and help create a new Bi Social Magazine at Bi Social Network, visit our fundraising page to learn more. Together we can make it happen!



