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A Reflection on the Bi Community and What’s Next for Bi Social Network

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September 23, 2011 By bisocialnetwork

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'Bi Social' Mock-up Magazine Prototype

One of the interesting parts of being a founder of anything is that most of the time, you are in the background or behind the scenes, trying to reach out to others, network, and connect with real live people who can hopefully make your life better in some tangible way. Or, that’s how I envisioned it in my mind at the start of Bi Social Network.

Right now, I have so many ideas going around in my head at 1 a.m. in the morning, two days shy of Bi Pride Day on September 23, and yet, some part of me can’t help but think back to the day that I woke up from a yearlong fog, of sadness, bitterness and loss of every tangible thing I’ve worked so hard for or owned, the start of the corporate layoffs. But what they say is true: “You don’t understand loss and success until you reach the bottom and have no way of seeing clearly how to get out.”

The Start of a Vision

This was me close to three years ago. At the start of creating Bi Social Network—strange as always, it was the middle of a night of insomnia, when my ideas are often formed. I’d been a part of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community since college ended, but moving forward my friends and I started to feel invisible instead of truly connected. In the past, gay and lesbian friends shared their lives with me, and I with them, but nowhere was there a true place for bi media, pop culture, networking and entertainment for the bi community in 2009. Nothing, and I needed to help change all that.This content is for members only.

Again, that was one of my nights of insomnia. I started to plan a vision of where I wanted to go on the web, what I wanted to see, and what news I wanted to read. I thought about the people I wanted to meet and connect with, even if it only through writing a blog. After a few months of working out the kinks (dating a marketing researcher at the time really came in handy) entered Maria, my first writer, who’s still with me today; then Peter, Adam, Chris, Robert, AC, Ronete, and Deandre; others coming for short times, some staying and some moving on. A connection was being formed. How did I even think I would do it alone? That was in 2010.

‘Kudo for the “White House” Bi celebration invite!’ —feedback

Fast forward to 400 e-mails a week, interviews, more and more LGBT and mainstream media asking me about Bi Social Network, and an inquiry from and subsequent visit to the White House. It’s all sorts of unbelievable, really. A community reached out and connected with not only me, but with each other, through e-mails, chat rooms, and Facebook® pages that were created overnight. Strangers wanted to join not only on our fan page, but to create other bi micro sites. We had continuous logins after the upgrades, signups (sometimes follks wishing there weren’t any signups) and people who reached out in so many ways. Some were afraid to share their stories online, but managed to e-mail me to say, “Hey, I love what you’re doing, don’t stop.” From the country of the Netherlands, there was a brand new service we started to support teens, housewives, lost husbands, and fearful family members who think they could be bi. There was reach out in the form of Bi Life with Ronete Cohen, my rock in a sea of insomnia. A transgender writer named Koka reached out to share her love of yoga with our readers as a Special Contributor. These were all small things but with one connection. I’m bi, and oh yes, I’m visible. There’s that word again.

‘Just wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed reading the articles on this site. It’s nice that black bisexuality isn’t just about depressing ’down-low’ shock-horror news.’ — Feedback

In November 2010, we started working on the “I Am Visible’ campaign. For me, one success of that campaign was reaching Jamie, who lives in Glasgow and was so proud to come out as bi at school, holding the ‘I am Visible’ bracelet that he ordered. The pain he felt as the result of bullying by gay youth was his burden, and yet, we connected all around the world through that campaign. Bi people connected and made a difference through that effort, and I’m grateful to those who contributed videos, songs, stories, and love, in order to make a difference.

A new direction: Magazines, TV, Radio, and a Foundation?

We’re now moving forward with new ideas, such as BSN TV which will hopefully connect even more people in 2012; and more shows on Bi Talk Radio, including other personalities that discuss bi men’s issues, opposite-sex bi relationships, and talking about how marriage can be bi too in the LGBT community. We’re even looking at perhaps creating a foundation in the future. So many thoughts and projects I want to do—in due time.

We reach into the hearts and minds of the bi community hoping to have a voice that will increase our visibility once and for all. But no movement, no one persona, no one thing can do it all—only a collective of ideas. We’re excited for our first ever fundraiser to help us develop something I’ve always wanted from the start— a Bi Magazine. We are about to leave a bigger footprint on American culture and show the world we have always been here. Bi Social Magazine is about to be created, and with this comes responsibilities: editors, photographers, artists, interviews, news, and politics. We want you to join us and help this because a reality, as we at Bi Social Network continue to listen, support, rant, interview, donate and reflect on our evolving bisexual community and its issues. I feel this is the most important idea and dream for us, and I hope you join me on the journey of bi visibility. Can you feel it? Yes, after all we have Bi Pride all year long!

To support this new project and help create a new Bi Social Magazine at Bi Social Network, visit our fundraising page to learn more. Together we can make it happen!

This content is for members only.

Filed Under: Bi Social Magazine, Culture Tagged With: bi entertainment, Bi Life with Ronete Cohen, bi pride day, bi social magazine, Bi Social Network, bisexual community, Bisexual Entertainment, Bisexual News, I am visible campaign

October 1, 2010 By bisocialnetwork

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LGBT Media: Facts on Omitting Bisexual Content?

Every time I see any LGBT company or cause doing well, I want to celebrate with them. After all, many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender groups have to work hard to make something they are passionate about profitable is a big milestone. To be clear, many start ups companies fail in the first two or three years, because it’s hard to get the support and capital to see what it can be.

Windy City Times is that company here in Chicago, as they celebrate 25 years in the BLGT Media business—but as I have been in the movement of making sure the “B’ is really showing up when companies claim they are supporting the full spectrum of our community—if not, we have to hold them accountable or they should just called themselves a gay or lesbian media newspaper.

I was excited to see Windy City Times come to an event on Bisexual Pride Day, which recently past on September 23, at the Center on Halsted. In fact, I was surprised they were there, because they have not even reached out to Bi Social Network in any shape or form. I find it surprising when MTV’s Logo has known of our existence, but my very own neighborhood gay media newspaper has never written one thing about us. Not regarding, our site nor regarding our content. Not even the fact that I as a bisexual woman of color who has created something that continues to grow in readership month after month. Mmm, so now I wonder, is it just me projecting, or is it biphobia and bi-erasure in my local BLGT media?

The facts:

I received an email from Windy City Times staying that they would be featuring our event in the next issue (September 28) and did I have an image I can give them. So naturally, since my talk that day was about biphobia and bi-erasure in gay and lesbian media, entertainment and news, you would expect this to be front and center to showcase this growing trend. Nothing.

What about the ‘I am Visible‘ new PSA campaign that kicked off this month, with a very nice large presentation on stage no less, or that it’s a year long campaign? Nothing.

What about as any media would do, ask for quotes, and get a personal perspective on all the speakers that were on stage with me? We have a great panel talking about bisexual men and health issues by Ed Negron , transgender men and women discussing issues surrounding trans-phobia, dating, and transition by Karen McReady and Eliot M. Scott. A great bisexual study and the need for more data driven information to produce desirable programs and understanding by Dr. Wendy Bostwick. Nothing. History on bisexual activism by Paige Listerud, who can tell you every little detail on the bisexual movement; how it all started and what the political issues past and present were like. Or how about the emcee of the night by Br. Michael C. Oboza, who not only organized this event (not Center on Halsted) but got many in the seats to share this special day with the bisexual community.

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Why the Bisexual Community Need to Support Our Own Media

This is the very reason why the ‘I am Visible’ campaign has been launched. If we continue to wait for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to tell our stories, the full story of what is really going on in our community, will come when we are old and grey. I can’t understand, why any media would omit key information about an event that was a full day long event? Can you? Wouldn’t a LGBT Media want to go around the city and get interviews on bisexual day? I know, if I was representing the full community, I would?

Yet, we know especially in the gay and lesbian media they are the leaders of bi-erasure. They are moving on the side of reporting a small piece of news and making it out to be a small ‘blurb’ in the lives of bisexuals. Our goal is clear; this is the very mission what Bi Social Network will be doing this full year—is calling out the so called representatives of BLGT media and saying. “Where is the Bisexual story arch?” From what Windy City Times showed us on Bi Pride Day, its clear, our goals and interests isn’t necessarily the same.

If you feel strong about this issue, join us in writing a petition to all the so called LGBT media that say they are with us, and yet, their actions say we are invisible and don’t matter to their needs. Read more on groups that should be representing us called “Why Chicago’s LGBT Community Should Focus on Larger Issues that Affect the Full Community” on Associated Content.

If you want to help Bi Social Network grow, why not subscribe to our Web content and give us a year pledge of $10, $15 or $20 a month, to help us reach our goals moving into 2011. I know gay and lesbian media gets support from their readers? Help bisexual media gets there’s.

What We Want to Do in 2011:

15 writers on a host of topics from youth to the elderly; to bi transgender to polyamory lifestyles and more.
Photographers and artist to showcase bisexuals as they live.
Bi Talk Radio: Bigger, bolder, better and longer.
Bisexual Film festival. End of 2011-12! We want to see it happen!
Bisexual events throughout the year.
Bi Social Publishing: Bisexual Books, ebooks and more (Hint, we started this!)

Together we can showcase the stories that matter to us. Join Us!

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Center on Halsted marks Bisexual Day

BY CHUCK KRAMER

Thirty-six Chicago area bisexuals and their supporters, participating in an international event, met at the Center on Halsted Sept. 23 to raise the profile of bisexuality and applaud the diversity of the community.

A panel discussion, organized by Br. Michael C. Oboza of the Chicago Bisexual / Queer Community(http://www.meetup.com/chicago-bisexual-queer-meetup/), discussed the history of bisexuals in the LGBT movement. The discussion also considered gender and sexual identity and the effects of using labels to describe and define people. Members of the panel included Paige Listerud, Wendy Bostwick, Ph.D., Karen McReady, Eliot M. Scott, Adrienne Williams and Ed Negron.

The speakers called for increasing bi visibility and urged bisexuals to self-define and “come out” to their friends in the LGBT community to bring attention to the uniqueness of their lives. A Q&A session followed and the event ended with socializing and networking to foster community and communication.

Filed Under: Rants of a Bisexualist Tagged With: bi pride day, Bi Social Network, bi-erasure, biphobia, bisexuals in media, bisexuls in the news, Chicago LGBT community, I am visible campaign, Windy City Times

September 24, 2009 By MariaM

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In honor of Bi Pride Day, I’ve decided to do an analysis of how far have we come in being more accepted and visible in both the gay and straight communities, and how far do we still have to go?

I’ve only been out a year, but in that year I’ve gotten to know lots of great people, in the bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, transgender, and straight ally communities who have all been very supportive and accepting. I’ve seen so many of my friends in the bi community working so hard to help with issues of visibility, and I’ve tried to do my part, and I’ve seen many of our efforts pay off. One big positive thing I’ve noticed: many more people and organizations are celebrating Bi pride day!

For example: The National Gay and Lesbian task force talked about Bi Pride Day on their website , and Rea Carey released a statement about it! Several organizations and blogs, such as Washington Blade newspaper, Queers United, Feminsting, Stuff Queer People Need to Know, AfterEllen, AfterElton, The Bilerico Project, LOGO, GLSEN, GLAAD, National Day of Silence, and the Gay/Straight Alliance either mentioned it, tweeted about it, put it in a myspace bulletin, or put it up on their facebook pages. I was happy to see in a lot of the comments following this that bi people were saying things like “wow, I didn’t know about this, now I’m going to go celebrate”, so that means many more bisexual people learned that there is indeed a day for us. LOGO also has a page devoted to bisexuals, and has the movie Bi the way on its website, and has aired it on TV several times.

There are more bi celebrities out, such as Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Megan Fox, Laurel Holloman, and now, Lebanese pop star Mika. We have Micah Kellner, out own out bisexual politician. We have magazine publications, bi conferences (often partnered with transgender people as well), and our own health seminar in the BLGT health conference. When people in the bi/pan community(s) started voicing that they’d like to be included in the National Equality March, several BLGT organizations sent out tweets about including us, and there will definitely be a bisexual presence there. There are more bi characters on TV. I’ve also noticed more support for bisexual people overall from both gay and straight people; especially younger people. Most of the time in my experience when someone puts up something negative about us on a webpage or YouTube, there are many comments telling that person they are wrong, and they come from all people, not just bisexuals, which is really nice to see. We have wonderful Bi organizations that seem to be networking more and building our own community and subculture which is great and as far as I’m concerned, long overdue.

So everything above is really good-and we’ve come a long way baby! But unfortunately, there never seems to be much of a positive without a negative. These positive changes also highlight that we still have a long way to go. In my opinion, the biggest negative-since actions do speak louder than words, other than “happy tweets” about including us, there doesn’t seem to be much inclusion of us in the march. There are no events scheduled that are aimed at our community (the trans community got 2 events, not much, but more than we have), and no speakers from our community have been scheduled (I think the trans community is actually getting one). Certain leaders go on about the “gays and lesbians”, and use the term ‘gay marriage”, as do many publications about the march. I’m going to report on it and march with my fellow bis, but I’m not really feeling that included and I know I’m not the only one.

For all the positive endorsements of bi pride day, really huge organizations like HRC have yet to say anything about it.For all of the places we are mentioned and accepted, there are still plenty publications that talk about gay vs. straight and don’t even mention that there is anything in between. In most cities, supposedly “GLBT” newspapers only mention the G and the L most of the time, every once in a while the T, and rarely, the B. Inclusive language, such as “same-sex” marriage is not used much-only ‘gay marriage”. Many people are still afraid to use the term “bisexual”, and either try not to label themselves, or say they are gay. It’s one thing if you really don’t like labels, but if you are only avoiding them due to fear, then that shouldn’t be. For all the positive comments, I can still find plenty of negative ones when a bi celebrity comes out, especially if it is a man, like Lebanese Pop star Mika.

There are still many stereotypes about bisexuals-for example that women are just doing it to be “cool”, and men are just “hiding their gayness”. As glad as I am that there are more bisexual TV characters, many of them still seem to fall into a lot of the stereotypes that are held about us. At least they are out there, but I’d like to see them be more accurately portrayed. It’s really nice that LOGO has a bi page, but there are very few actual bi characters, and if you look at some of the short movies, they really push the stereotypes-I’d almost rather they were not there. At least Bi the Way is positive.

Okay, I didn’t mean to bring everyone up and then down! But a year ago, the positive paragraphs would have been thinner, so those positive changes are definitely worth celebrating. They should also teach us that hard work and activism does pay off-and we need to keep it up! Let’s make our goal for next year to make the negative paragraphs even smaller-until hopefully they disappear.

Happy Bisexual pride day to all my bi & pan brothers and sisters, and to all my brothers and sisters everywhere who are somewhere between straight and gay!

Filed Under: Bi News Tagged With: bi, bi pride day, Bi Social Network, BinetUSA, biphobia, bisexual, celebrities, characters, coming out, fear, gay, GLSEN, HRC, labels, lesbian, Logo, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, pansexual, pride, Television, transgender

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