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Bisexual: It’s Just A Word

Bisexual Voices Speak Out on National Equality March!

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July 5, 2011 By MariaM

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(Image Credit:) Wikimedia.com/Fg68at

Unity is a wonderful thing, and in unity there is strength. It enables communities, families, friends, and allies to work for change, social justice, preserve cultures and ways of life, and to fight oppression. Two of the best American examples of unity are those of the African American community when they fought for civil rights, and that of the gay and lesbian communities when they fought for rights after the Stonewall riots. Bisexuals and transgender people were part of that too of course, but were not openly acknowledged except as part of the gay and lesbian communities due to bisexual erasure. While there are always some divisions even in more united communities, a united base is often what pulls a community through and gives them the support to fight.

In recent decades, while it’s true that the gay and lesbian communities have become more fractured, enough momentum was formed in the post stonewall days that certain foundational organizations, such as the Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, The National Gay And Lesbian Task Force, and others were able to get funds and get off the ground. People put aside their differences and gave whatever they could to these organizations because they realized it was in their common best interest. And they and others have kept the momentum going to this day, so despite there being areas of fracturing, there is still enough of a foundation of unity that the gay and lesbian communities are able to have some clout, and these organizations often can and do speak effectively for much of the community.

Having said that—after watching and participating in the bisexual community for over 3 years now, I have to come out and ask—why can’t we have this kind of unity? We managed to achieve some in the 1990’s, and when we did, we made some gains, but certainly not enough. And now things seem to be going the other way. When I first came out, I, like many others, asked why the bisexual community couldn’t support itself more and have more of its own space, and why we were so dependent on being included as part of the gay community. Of course there is much that we all have in common, so it’s very important to collaborate with the entire bisexual, lesbian, gay, and transgender (BLGT) community(s) when possible, but why isn’t there more of a bi space? From my observations, it seems to be for two main reasons: 1). Lack of coordination between different leaders and organizations, and 2). Lack of financial support. This content is for members only.

Filed Under: Bi Advocacy, Bi News, Culture Tagged With: Bi Social Network, Bi Women Boston, BinetUSA, biphobia, bisexual, bisexual erasure, Bisexual Resource Center, bisexuality, bivisiblity, BLGT, FenceSitter Films, financial support, gay, GLAAD, GLBT, Human Rights Campaign, I am visible campaign, Kyle Schickner, lesbian, LGBT, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Politics, Robyn Ochs, straight, transgender, unity

April 8, 2011 By MariaM

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Why Is It People Will Use Just About Any Word Except Bisexual? (Image Credit:) Wikimedia.com/Nevit

What are some of the words most of us have heard before that have been used instead of bisexual? There’s omnisexual, the ambiguous fluid, polysexual, multisexual, and for some people, pansexual (although many people do use that as a distinct orientation, which it can be). With the exception of pansexual, many in the bisexual community (including me) have often felt that these are just “excuse words” for not using the word bisexual. This has always been puzzling; after all, bisexual is just a word. What is so scary about it? All it means is the capacity to be attracted to both genders (and in many cases everyone in between them as well). Yet too many people in the bisexual, lesbian, gay, and transgender community (BLGT), including some bisexuals, do not seem to want to use the word. I understand that the concept can be uncomfortable for some people, and that sometimes we bisexuals get so tired of dealing with all the stupid questions and comments that we don’t say the dreaded “b word” and just go along with whatever the new cover up word is. But covering up the word doesn’t make the meaning of it go away. People who are attracted and fall in love with more than one gender have always existed, and words aside, they are not going anywhere. Recently, I had noticed the word bisexual being used a bit more, so I thought we were making progress. Then I saw CNN’s latest sexuality report—on “Flexisexuality.”
This content is for members only.

Filed Under: Bi News, Culture, Sexuality Tagged With: bi news, Bi Social Network, bi visibility, BinetUSA, bisexual, bisexual actors, Bisexual Entertainment, bisexual women, bisexuality, BLGT, celebrities, cnn, Faith Cheltenham, flexisexual, gay, GLBT, Lady Gaga, lesbian, LGBT, pansexual, relationships, straight, transgender

October 9, 2009 By MariaM

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Equality Across America

We’ve come to it at last—what so many have been talking about, wondering about, and even fighting about for the past several months. The National Equality March—which is on Sunday, October 11, 2009. I’m happy to say there will be a fair amount of bisexual inclusion for once (thanks to the hard work of BinetUSA). The National Equality March (NEM) has four bi speakers: Penelope Williams, Chloe Noble, Michael Huffington, and the famous Lady Gaga herself. We also have an event that everyone should go to and network with he bi community!

Bi Social News (BSN) went around and asked as many people as we could find, including two of the speakers for our bi community, who are either marching themselves or helped organize—why they were marching, what this march meant to them, and what they hoped to get out of it? Here are some of their answers:

That we are not numb, that we push forward in the face of discrimination and fear, that we continue to have great faith in Humanity, that we long for a better world, and that we are deeply motivated to work to bring about the change that we wish to see in the world—these are the reasons I am honored to stand with all of you – in this LGBTQ Liberation Movement – and in the Social Justice Movement as a whole. – Chloe Noble

Chloe Noble is a bi/queer activist, who advocates for and helps homeless GLBTQ youth. Check out her projects at PrideWalk2009! NEM states they are very proud and excited to have her as a speaker!

“Equality is not about what’s fair, it’s about what’s needed. To me this means that as bi, trans[sexuals], lesbian and gay people we all have different, yet basic and necessary needs. As a bi Afro/Latina woman, this is important for the well being of my same-sex partner and our future. Therefore, I pray that all of our needs are met swiftly and equally. It as honor to be able to go out and represent the bi community and bi people of color community. I look forward to seeing and hearing all the beautiful bisexual/pansexual and fluid faces that will come out and represent.”—Penelope Williams

Penelope Williams is an Afro-Dominican, bisexual activist for over 20 years. Penelope founded the first Bi youth People of Color group in the 90′s. Her recent experience includes coordinating anti-discrimination policy/law with Lambda Legal and working with WEAVE, a domestic violence prevention organization that outreaches to the GLBT community. NEM is proud and excited to have her as a speaker!

“I am planning on being at the rally site and listening to Penelope and the other speakers. I’m a 4th generation Washingtonian, whose Mom took her to hear Martin Luther King as a teenager speak his magnificent, “I Have A Dream speech and I’ve been hooked on demonstrations as grand spectacles of democracy and people’s ideals ever since! I was at the 79th, 87th and 93rd Marches on Washington for L/G and then LGBT rights. LGBT people have been disrespected for too long and anytime we can get the media’s attention to listen to our demands and our stories—it is worth it!

I’m also marching for and with this new generation of young people who have grown up since the last march, and for the elders, like me—who need the charge of hope and connection a march gives, to help us continue.”—Dr. Loraine Hutchins, Bisexual/GLBT Activist and author of Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out.

“The short answer— because we shouldn’t have to. [The] long answer—[because] I’ve been on this planet for 34 years and I can tell you that I have met about five bisexual men of color. I would have to say there aren’t that many people of color out there. With the absentee faces in most mainstream queer media of people of color—there is literally no stable support for queer men of color, especially bisexual men of color. So for right now I am going to be marching not for myself, but for the next generation of queer youth of color integrity.

Hopefully, someday—one day, they won’t have to march for equality. They won’t have to fight for respect from the hetero[sexual] or the gay and lesbian community. They won’t take a label that is not theirs just to fit in. I am marching so they won’t have to.”—Sean Graham, Bi activist and comedian.

“My partner and I will be going to the march to add to the numbers of people who just want the same rights others enjoy. We want the right to marry. The ability to get health benefits for our loved ones. The right to make medical decisions for our partners, when they are unable to—to have our wills and death benefits respected and to just be able to love who we want and be able to walk down the street without fear of someone attacking us because of who we love. We want to live the American dream in the same manner as our “straight” citizens do.”—Ruth Hilliard-an out and proud lesbian.

“I hope, in the aftermath of this equality march, there will be major moves for equality for all citizens, regardless of race, gender, class, and sexual orientation. I’m looking for movements of various communities (such as LGBTQIQ, people of color, etc.) to unify and smash the long standing oppression of many people in and outside this country.”—Dawn Gibson, an out and proud bisexual woman.

“I’m marching because I’m proud of who I am. I’m also happy that more people who are bi are being accepted more in the gay & lesbian community.”—Tina Frundt, an out and proud bisexual woman and founder of Courtney’s House.

“It sounds like it’s going to be a good time for a good cause with lots of opportunities for people to get energized and get networked. I feel the National Equality March claims that LGBT people are also guaranteed equal protection under the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution is absolutely correct.”—Cynthia, an out and proud pansexual women and member of the New York Area Bisexual Network (NYABN).

Each of these expresses—a hope that the march will help change the future for the better. We share that hope, for the bisexual community, and for all BLGT/Queer people. I will be back next week to let you know how it goes!

For more information about bisexual events and where to meet to march, please click on the events.

Maria is a Contributing Writer for BSN and will be covering the march and the bisexual social events throughout the weekend. Check back for all the latest bisexual news and updates.

Filed Under: Culture Tagged With: Bi Social Network, BinetUSA, bisexual, BLGT, Chloe Noble, equality, gay, GLBT, Lady Gaga, lesbian, Micheal Huffington, National Equality March, NYABN, Penelope Williams, queer, quotes, Same-sex Marriage, speakers, voices

September 24, 2009 By MariaM

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In honor of Bi Pride Day, I’ve decided to do an analysis of how far have we come in being more accepted and visible in both the gay and straight communities, and how far do we still have to go?

I’ve only been out a year, but in that year I’ve gotten to know lots of great people, in the bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, transgender, and straight ally communities who have all been very supportive and accepting. I’ve seen so many of my friends in the bi community working so hard to help with issues of visibility, and I’ve tried to do my part, and I’ve seen many of our efforts pay off. One big positive thing I’ve noticed: many more people and organizations are celebrating Bi pride day!

For example: The National Gay and Lesbian task force talked about Bi Pride Day on their website , and Rea Carey released a statement about it! Several organizations and blogs, such as Washington Blade newspaper, Queers United, Feminsting, Stuff Queer People Need to Know, AfterEllen, AfterElton, The Bilerico Project, LOGO, GLSEN, GLAAD, National Day of Silence, and the Gay/Straight Alliance either mentioned it, tweeted about it, put it in a myspace bulletin, or put it up on their facebook pages. I was happy to see in a lot of the comments following this that bi people were saying things like “wow, I didn’t know about this, now I’m going to go celebrate”, so that means many more bisexual people learned that there is indeed a day for us. LOGO also has a page devoted to bisexuals, and has the movie Bi the way on its website, and has aired it on TV several times.

There are more bi celebrities out, such as Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Megan Fox, Laurel Holloman, and now, Lebanese pop star Mika. We have Micah Kellner, out own out bisexual politician. We have magazine publications, bi conferences (often partnered with transgender people as well), and our own health seminar in the BLGT health conference. When people in the bi/pan community(s) started voicing that they’d like to be included in the National Equality March, several BLGT organizations sent out tweets about including us, and there will definitely be a bisexual presence there. There are more bi characters on TV. I’ve also noticed more support for bisexual people overall from both gay and straight people; especially younger people. Most of the time in my experience when someone puts up something negative about us on a webpage or YouTube, there are many comments telling that person they are wrong, and they come from all people, not just bisexuals, which is really nice to see. We have wonderful Bi organizations that seem to be networking more and building our own community and subculture which is great and as far as I’m concerned, long overdue.

So everything above is really good-and we’ve come a long way baby! But unfortunately, there never seems to be much of a positive without a negative. These positive changes also highlight that we still have a long way to go. In my opinion, the biggest negative-since actions do speak louder than words, other than “happy tweets” about including us, there doesn’t seem to be much inclusion of us in the march. There are no events scheduled that are aimed at our community (the trans community got 2 events, not much, but more than we have), and no speakers from our community have been scheduled (I think the trans community is actually getting one). Certain leaders go on about the “gays and lesbians”, and use the term ‘gay marriage”, as do many publications about the march. I’m going to report on it and march with my fellow bis, but I’m not really feeling that included and I know I’m not the only one.

For all the positive endorsements of bi pride day, really huge organizations like HRC have yet to say anything about it.For all of the places we are mentioned and accepted, there are still plenty publications that talk about gay vs. straight and don’t even mention that there is anything in between. In most cities, supposedly “GLBT” newspapers only mention the G and the L most of the time, every once in a while the T, and rarely, the B. Inclusive language, such as “same-sex” marriage is not used much-only ‘gay marriage”. Many people are still afraid to use the term “bisexual”, and either try not to label themselves, or say they are gay. It’s one thing if you really don’t like labels, but if you are only avoiding them due to fear, then that shouldn’t be. For all the positive comments, I can still find plenty of negative ones when a bi celebrity comes out, especially if it is a man, like Lebanese Pop star Mika.

There are still many stereotypes about bisexuals-for example that women are just doing it to be “cool”, and men are just “hiding their gayness”. As glad as I am that there are more bisexual TV characters, many of them still seem to fall into a lot of the stereotypes that are held about us. At least they are out there, but I’d like to see them be more accurately portrayed. It’s really nice that LOGO has a bi page, but there are very few actual bi characters, and if you look at some of the short movies, they really push the stereotypes-I’d almost rather they were not there. At least Bi the Way is positive.

Okay, I didn’t mean to bring everyone up and then down! But a year ago, the positive paragraphs would have been thinner, so those positive changes are definitely worth celebrating. They should also teach us that hard work and activism does pay off-and we need to keep it up! Let’s make our goal for next year to make the negative paragraphs even smaller-until hopefully they disappear.

Happy Bisexual pride day to all my bi & pan brothers and sisters, and to all my brothers and sisters everywhere who are somewhere between straight and gay!

Filed Under: Bi News Tagged With: bi, bi pride day, Bi Social Network, BinetUSA, biphobia, bisexual, celebrities, characters, coming out, fear, gay, GLSEN, HRC, labels, lesbian, Logo, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, pansexual, pride, Television, transgender

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