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A Study On Bisexual Women

November 18, 2011 By 4 Comments
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(Image Credit:) Wikimediacommons.com/MaraB.

It appears that yet another study has come about bisexuals, this one specifically about bisexual women. It’s good to see so many studies being done about us; hopefully that will help combat invisibility, and it’s great to see more attention being paid to women as well. I’ve written about several of these studies before, including ones about bisexual men, mental health in our community, bi invisibility, and others. This study was a local one, done at George Mason University in my neck of the woods. I participated in it by filling out some forms and questionnaires that were sent out all over the bisexual community, particularly over the internet.

While the study being done was a great thing, the results unfortunately were not. The headline of the study is called Bisexual Women Suffer Stress and Depression. Some key parts parts of the study summarized: “Bisexual women are more likely to smoke, binge drink and suffer from stress and depression, due to feelings of invisibility and little community support. Interestingly, gay and straight women do not have the same risk for alcohol abuse and depression as bisexual women. The study looked at how three different dimensions of sexuality – identity, behavior and attraction - linked with health problems.  The study also says that bisexual men seemed to have significantly lower risks for the same things.”  Well, are we surprised?  I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately, other than specifically focusing on bisexual women, there is nothing new here.  Next I’d like to see a study with suggestions on how to remedy this! This content is for members only.

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A Reflection on the Bi Community and What’s Next for Bi Social Network

September 23, 2011 By
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'Bi Social' Mock-up Magazine Prototype

One of the interesting parts of being a founder of anything is that most of the time, you are in the background or behind the scenes, trying to reach out to others, network, and connect with real live people who can hopefully make your life better in some tangible way. Or, that’s how I envisioned it in my mind at the start of Bi Social Network.

Right now, I have so many ideas going around in my head at 1 a.m. in the morning, two days shy of Bi Pride Day on September 23, and yet, some part of me can’t help but think back to the day that I woke up from a yearlong fog, of sadness, bitterness and loss of every tangible thing I’ve worked so hard for or owned, the start of the corporate layoffs. But what they say is true: “You don’t understand loss and success until you reach the bottom and have no way of seeing clearly how to get out.”

The Start of a Vision

This was me close to three years ago. At the start of creating Bi Social Network—strange as always, it was the middle of a night of insomnia, when my ideas are often formed. I’d been a part of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community since college ended, but moving forward my friends and I started to feel invisible instead of truly connected. In the past, gay and lesbian friends shared their lives with me, and I with them, but nowhere was there a true place for bi media, pop culture, networking and entertainment for the bi community in 2009. Nothing, and I needed to help change all that.This content is for members only.

Again, that was one of my nights of insomnia. I started to plan a vision of where I wanted to go on the web, what I wanted to see, and what news I wanted to read. I thought about the people I wanted to meet and connect with, even if it only through writing a blog. After a few months of working out the kinks (dating a marketing researcher at the time really came in handy) entered Maria, my first writer, who’s still with me today; then Peter, Adam, Chris, Robert, AC, Ronete, and Deandre; others coming for short times, some staying and some moving on. A connection was being formed. How did I even think I would do it alone? That was in 2010.

‘Kudo for the “White House” Bi celebration invite!’ —feedback

Fast forward to 400 e-mails a week, interviews, more and more LGBT and mainstream media asking me about Bi Social Network, and an inquiry from and subsequent visit to the White House. It’s all sorts of unbelievable, really. A community reached out and connected with not only me, but with each other, through e-mails, chat rooms, and Facebook® pages that were created overnight. Strangers wanted to join not only on our fan page, but to create other bi micro sites. We had continuous logins after the upgrades, signups (sometimes follks wishing there weren’t any signups) and people who reached out in so many ways. Some were afraid to share their stories online, but managed to e-mail me to say, “Hey, I love what you’re doing, don’t stop.” From the country of the Netherlands, there was a brand new service we started to support teens, housewives, lost husbands, and fearful family members who think they could be bi. There was reach out in the form of Bi Life with Ronete Cohen, my rock in a sea of insomnia. A transgender writer named Koka reached out to share her love of yoga with our readers as a Special Contributor. These were all small things but with one connection. I’m bi, and oh yes, I’m visible. There’s that word again.

‘Just wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed reading the articles on this site. It’s nice that black bisexuality isn’t just about depressing ’down-low’ shock-horror news.’ — Feedback

In November 2010, we started working on the “I Am Visible’ campaign. For me, one success of that campaign was reaching Jamie, who lives in Glasgow and was so proud to come out as bi at school, holding the ‘I am Visible’ bracelet that he ordered. The pain he felt as the result of bullying by gay youth was his burden, and yet, we connected all around the world through that campaign. Bi people connected and made a difference through that effort, and I’m grateful to those who contributed videos, songs, stories, and love, in order to make a difference.

A new direction: Magazines, TV, Radio, and a Foundation?

We’re now moving forward with new ideas, such as BSN TV which will hopefully connect even more people in 2012; and more shows on Bi Talk Radio, including other personalities that discuss bi men’s issues, opposite-sex bi relationships, and talking about how marriage can be bi too in the LGBT community.  We’re even looking at perhaps creating a foundation in the future. So many thoughts and projects I want to do—in due time.

We reach into the hearts and minds of the bi community hoping to have a voice that will increase our visibility once and for all. But no movement, no one persona, no one thing can do it all—only a collective of ideas. We’re excited for our first ever fundraiser to help us develop something I’ve always wanted from the start— a Bi Magazine. We are about to leave a bigger footprint on American culture and show the world we have always been here. Bi Social Magazine is about to be created, and with this comes responsibilities: editors, photographers, artists, interviews, news, and politics. We want you to join us and help this because a reality, as we at Bi Social Network continue to listen, support, rant, interview, donate and reflect on our evolving bisexual community and its issues. I feel this is the most important idea and dream for us, and I hope you join me on the journey of bi visibility. Can you feel it? Yes, after all we have Bi Pride all year long!

To support this new project and help create a new Bi Social Magazine at Bi Social Network, visit our fundraising page to learn more. Together we can make it happen!

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Filed Under: Bi Social Magazine, Culture Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

The Truth Comes Out: Bisexual Men Exist!

August 29, 2011 By
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(Image Credit): Wikimedia.com/Kenk8

OP-ED: Last week, I got one of the best pleasant surprises I’ve had in a long time. Finally, someone published a study, called No Surprise for Bisexual Men: Report Indicates They Exist totally overruling that ridiculous 2005 Gay, Straight, Or Lying “study” by J. Michael Bailey. It was even more surprising that it was published by Northwestern University, the same school that published the original study, in The New York Times, which wrote about the first study. The biggest surprise was the experiment was headed by J. Michael Bailey himself, who has claimed that his original research was misinterpreted and sought to rectify that, and for that I give him a lot of credit. In the new study, bisexual men for the study were actually recruited from the bisexual community instead of the gay and straight communities.

So how is this going to impact the bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender community? For many people in the bisexual community, the first reaction was “It’s about time”, and also, from some of us, especially bisexual men, “See, I told you so!” I admit I had fun posting the article and saying “So there” to the haters. Will it make a difference? To those who are open minded, especially those who value scientific studies, yes. To those who are determined to deny our existence? No. They’ll find some other excuse. It was always amusing to see the Bailey study quoted in comments from gay, lesbian, and straight people who were vociferous in saying bisexuals don’t exist; when bisexuals tried to point out inconsistencies in the study, they were laughed at. I wonder if those same biphobes will now try and find inconsistencies in the new study? This content is for members only. Continue reading »

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Joe Solmonese of the HRC Stepping Down, Bisexual Who?

August 27, 2011 By
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Joe Solmonese Steps Down at HRC

As media outlets starts to break the news that Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign (HCR) is set to leave in December of 2011. I have to ask the tough questions? What affect if any, does this have on the bisexual community? Should the bisexual community reach out to HRC to talk about bi issues facing us?

I have had in the past a long love/hate relationship with members of the HRC, talking to a few leaders here in Chicago where their held belief is “Bisexuals Don’t Fight LGBT Rights.” But okay, we can debate that for another time. The top leader leaves, will this be an opportunity for the bisexual community to join them to find their rightful place in bi-visibility and stop bi-erasure from all sides? The HRC is the very organisation that promises to defend out rights? But really hasn’t touched in recent years issues that are taking hold of the bi community, not to mention the lack of diversity at the HRC in key positions, which often help shape initiatives that can work for the B and T as well as the GL communities. This content is for members only.

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Filed Under: Culture, LGT News Tagged With: , , , ,

Being Honest About Bisexual Erasure

June 19, 2011 By
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(Image Credit:) Wikimedia.com/Andrew pmk

OP-ED: Last week, I unfortunately missed our weekly radio show, so I listened to the recording.  What I heard in the last fifteen minutes absolutely astounded me.  Our founder and web producer, Adrienne Williams, was talking about an ongoing exchange she’s been having with The Windy City Times, a Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender (BLGT) newspaper in the Chicago area.  She started out by talking about how lately the paper has been having more positive transgender content, and how this was great, and went on to talk about how the paper doesn’t often have much bi content, and in the past year, it had only a blurb of bi content, in their 25-year issue. They seem to have a rather large case of bisexual erasure.  She had pointed this out publicly on our site, and gotten an email from an editor at The Windy City Times saying that if she wanted bi content in the newspaper, she should simply “email press releases to us.”  It went on to say that as far as they knew, they hadn’t gotten any emails or press releases from our site, and that they had “covered B issues for 25 years, but “couldn’t reflect the news without receiving the details.”

Really?  Seriously?

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Filed Under: Bi Advocacy, Bi News, Culture, LGT News Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Amanda G: Please Help Support a Minnesotan Bisexual from becoming Homeless by Dec 5

December 3, 2010 By
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**UPDATES: UPDATE: Another 25.32. We raised 175.32 + Amanda’s 450.00

**Amanda was able to raise $450.00 plus the $150.00 we raised gives us a total of $625.00 Thanks for all who helped. If you want to help, even 10, 20 or 25 will help overall to achieve $850.00

We will share the updates as they come in, if you want your first name mentioned as you donate, please let me know. I know some like to have privacy and we respect that.

Our goal is to to raise $850.00 by December 5 or as close to it as possible.

Donated: $ 25.32, $30, $50, $25 $25. $20  | $224.68 Needed

Names: Maria, Cynthia, Cora, Stuart, Adrienne, Alice

***

As many have heard, I have been working with a fellow bisexual young adult named Amanda G. who lives in Minnesota. I was referred to her by a concerned bisexual who thought our network could help this person in need.

Note: All information below has been given to share with our readers in the hopes of reaching out to you. Some Information has been omitted or not shared, to protect her privacy.

A little background: Amanda is hard-of-hearing and in the mist of crises due to Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD) that has stopped her from working at this time. Due to her disabilities, she was a shut-in for lack of services and help and with the hearing world. Though, she is hard-of-hearing, she has trouble with communicating over the phone and with others if she doesn’t know their speech pattern. I do know sign language, but due to living in Chicago, I had to find many services that can help in this short term crises, to help with long term goals. Support, Deaf Services, Food, rental assistance and overall help with mental stress.

I’m a very big supporter of homelessness and mental issue issues and I had to help figure out a way to support our young bisexual person. I was on the phone with every agency, I could find to make sure she gets in the system and on the road to support and independent living. We have started this process, with food, support, deaf services and long term support, but now, we have days to help support her regarding December’s rent. She now has food, she now has support and an interpreter to help get the services as a person with disabilities should be able to have in this country.

She has no family in her area and lives alone. As we move into the holidays and 2011, I want everyone to join me in helping her reach a goal in the short-term, so she won’t be homeless this Christmas and lose her right to rent again. The clock is ticking and I know this is short notice, but we need to raise $850.00 for rent, including storage.

We must help her to be safe as a young bisexual woman who is part of the deaf community. Many things can happen to her and people can take advance, which has happened already.

Due to the nature of this issue, I do not want to post all her information on the internet, but if you want to help, you can call me at 773-273-9422 and I can give you more information. Amanda knows this is stressful asking for help to people she doesn’t know, but isn’t this the best time to help a person in need and someone who is part of our community—how can we do any less?

You know with sexuality there are many youth persons who are bullied, removed from their homes and abused, this is the time to help a person that will benefit from this support.

I’m setting up our paypal account, where you can add a note to say “For Amanda” and I will note this and give a check to the landlord myself to make sure these funds are paid. Please help us.  We have until December 5 to raise the funds.

Your help will be noted and I will send everyone who helps in this effort a new ‘I am Visible” bracelet we will be selling for the campaign and our website.

Thank you for your advanced donations and helping one person in need get the love and support from our community! Anyone can help, you do not have to be apart of the bisexual community.

Positive note, Amanda has received help for food and deaf services. I want to thanks “Disability Linkage Line” for their support and the Minnesota Department of Human Services for really jumping in there, and contacting her right away. They really stepped up in one day to get her on the role to independent living!

Thank you!

Adrienne Williams, Founder of Bi Social Network


Filed Under: Culture, Health & Lifestyle, Mental Health, Psychology Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Bisexuals Face Bullying Too

October 7, 2010 By
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How Can The Bisexual Community Combat The Problem Of Bullying? (Image) Wikimedia.com/Eddie~S

Last week a horrible incident happened in which a young gay man committed suicide due to severe harassment and bullying. This has received a lot of media coverage (which is good), like this ABC News article, and by Adam Borders called, ‘Tyler Clementi and Others Bullied to Death on Sexuality“ about this particular incident, and the problem of suicide among bisexual and gay men in general. I’ve been thinking about it all week and wanted to contribute my thoughts as well. I remember being harassed over being a “dyke” in school; I quickly learned to hide any hint of not being straight. Unfortunately, not all kids can do that, and it’s even more unfortunate that it’s even necessary.

I recall that there have been several incidents like this in the past few years and lately too it seems, as this Time’s article tells of another suicide that just occurred recently. Each time there’s a big deal made about it, but little seems to change—a few months later, it happens again. Every once in a while you hear about some schools (usually with the aide of BLGT groups) putting in or trying to put in a program to help combat bullying or trying to educate their students on tolerance and diversity. As commendable as this is, unfortunately the problem persists, and often the programs aren’t able to get as far as they should. According to sources like ABC News and The Minnesota Independent, it’s often because parents’ groups and religious anti-BLGT groups do everything they can to stop these programs from being implemented, and unfortunately they usually win.

Bullying is a risk for a lot of kids, but according to WebMD Health News, BLGT teens are twice as likely to be bullied as heterosexual teens, and as I mentioned in a previous article, called ‘Isolation, Health, And The Bisexual Community,” bisexuals are at the bottom in this statistic. Adults, even [ones in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community], don’t always realize what a major problem it is; they dismiss bullying as “kids being kids” or say things like “It gets better” (not when someone ends up dead)! Too many of us tend to think things have gotten better since we were kids. In some ways they have, but as we have seen by all these suicides, harassment [it] is still a major problem.

To add insult to injury, for bisexuals, and sometimes for transgender people too, there’s even more salt in the wounds, as too often we experience bisexual erasure and are not even acknowledged as victims of harassment, or barely acknowledged, as in an article on Live Science, that talks about “Gay and Lesbian Teens.” Or if a bisexual experiences a serious threat, does commit suicide, or is killed, their bisexuality is usually acknowledged mostly by just bisexual sources; he or she is reported as “gay” in other news media including BLGT news media. This happened with the murders of John Terry and August Provost . What can be done about this?

For starters, the BLGT groups that are trying to promote tolerance in schools need to keep doing it, and more allies need to join them. I also think that the bisexual community (Bi Social Network will take up on the ‘I am Visible’ Campaign) needs to take a page from the transgender community and set up programs that focus on the unique plight of bullying for bisexual kids and teenagers. Confusion over being gay or straight (many teenagers don’t hear the term bisexual until later in life), getting possible harassment from “both sides”, and facing possible rejection from not only straight kids but sometimes gay kids too are all primary issues. We also need to try and get more media attention when a bisexual is mistakenly labeled as gay in the media. While I’ve heard of BLGT health programs specifically aimed at bisexuals, there doesn’t seem to be anything around specifically targeting bisexuals and bullying and harassment. How can the bisexual community continue to support the efforts of the larger BLGT community to combat bullying, while also drawing attention to the unique challenges bisexuals face with this issue?

Filed Under: Bi Advocacy, Culture Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

An Ugly Stereotype That Persists About the Bisexual Community

September 9, 2010 By
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(istockphoto.com/ Tom Mc Nemar)

“Bisexuals are whores. Oh my God, what a bisexual slut! You’d better stay away from him; he’s bisexual and probably has all kinds of diseases. You’d better stay away from her; she’s bisexual and will run off with a man [or a ] woman.” Do any of these sound familiar? If you’re an out bisexual, you’ve probably heard all of them at least once. It’s the age old (and more annoying every year) stereotype that bisexuals will and do sleep with anyone, are promiscuous;  and have no standards. While this stereotype is promoted less than it used to be, it’s still quite common to come across it today in both the gay and straight communities, especially in the media and/or when a celebrity comes out as bisexual.

We all know the right wing part of the religious community perpetuated for years and still tries to perpetuate the exact same stereotype about gays and lesbians, but now it’s becoming increasingly socially unacceptable to do so, which is a good thing. However, why haven’t bisexuals been included much in the trend of making this stereotype unacceptable? Why is it still relatively acceptable to apply the term to us? Why do well meaning websites continue to post “how to” guides about how to date us (can anyone imagine one that said “how to date a gay person or a straight person?)”

Everyone knows there is promiscuity in every community, including the ones who pretend that it doesn’t exist. It’s pretty accepted by society at large as normal and ok in the straight community, somewhat accepted as normal and ok in the gay and lesbian communities (just look at shows like the L Word and Queer As Folk), but not too accepted when it comes to the bisexual community. We often have to go out of our way to prove both to friends and potential partners the “yes we are bi but—we are also monogamous” scenario. Why do bisexuals have to be the ones to try “extra hard,” even though there is promiscuity in both the gay and straight communities, and it’s been proven that overall we’re not more likely to cheat or sleep around then the rest of the population?

One explanation that is mentioned often is that the idea of uncertainty scares most people. Dating someone who is attracted to both genders can make some people feel uncertain, that that person is fully interested in them and won’t “switch the next day.” I’ve never understood why the opposite gender is a threat, but people don’t seem to think too much about the uncertainty [or the] possibility of a partner cheating with someone of their own gender. In recent years, one of the best things that the gay community has been able to do to combat homophobia is to show society, that in many ways same-sex couples are not that different from opposite-sex ones, when it comes to the issues they face. This commonality has helped more people see gay people as “people” and not just gay. Yet it’s been harder for the bisexual community to follow this image, largely because the idea of bisexuals being monogamous is still not that widespread.

The bisexual community—just like the gay community, has put considerable effort into dispelling this stereotype, which can be seen all over the Internet and in numerous books. Yet, the stereotype persists. How can we help overcome it?

Filed Under: Sexuality Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Bisexuality And The ‘Ex-Gay’ Industry

August 26, 2010 By
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How many "ex-gay" victims and survivors are bisexual? (Image) wikimedia.com/Fg68at/Peterson Toscano

Pretty much everyone in the BLGT community has heard of it, and most of us would like to pretend it doesn’t exist. For some it’s a joke, for others it represents a deeply painful experience they have actually lived through. It’s the “ex-gay” industry. And despite our living in one of the most democratic countries in the world, there are still plenty of people who are against equality for BLGT people; and these “ex-gay” industries are multimillion dollar businesses. Many are run by some sort of faith group, others claim to be based on science; still others are run by individual people. Very often it’s families seeking to “cure” a loved one of same-sex attractions that encourage people to go to these programs; other times it’s BLGT people who honestly think that there is something horribly wrong with them that they need to fix. The techniques of the “therapy” seem to mostly center on “praying the gay away” and doing “gender specific activities”, which, as we’ve seen, are very often unsuccessful.

A question I’ve heard asked time and time again is: how do bisexuals figure into this whole “ex-gay” business? You almost never hear about bisexuality in regard to the “conversion” process. It’s all about being gay and going to straight. The“ex-gay” industry mostly acts like bisexuality doesn’t even exist (unfortunately not too different from the rest of society), and mostly talks about “gays and lesbians”. Every once in a while when bisexuality is brought up, it’s often used by both sides to bolster their arguments of “gay people can change” vs. “they can’t change”. I’ve also seen bisexuality mentioned one time when someone was writing about how they thought that some of the “success stories” presented by “ex-gay” organizations were actually bisexuals who just were not acting on their same-sex attractions. I had hoped this would be elaborated on, but that turned out to be the only thing mentioned about bisexuals.

How would paying attention to bisexuals change the face of the “ex-gay” industry? For starters, it would be interesting to know just how many of the people who go into these industries to seek help because they’ve been convinced that there is something wrong with them are actually bisexual. Perhaps if someone is bisexual but leans more toward same-sex attractions, they can classify themselves as gay and think they need reparative therapy. Also, if someone feels they have somehow “cured” themselves, could they just be bisexual but not acting on their same sex side (which as any closeted bisexual can tell you, is still horrible)? Are any of the examples of people that supposedly went from” gay to straight” that are touted by these organizations really bisexual?

We don’t know for sure about any of these questions, because bisexuality and bisexuals are pretty much ignored in this industry by both the straight and the gay communities. It would be very interesting if somehow a study could be done to determine some idea of the number of bisexuals that are involved in these “ex-gay” programs, how they influence the “success” rate, and how the programs affect their sexuality and sense of self. What would this mean for the BLGT community, and for the “ex-gay” industry? Most importantly, what would it mean for the bisexual community?

Filed Under: Culture, Sexuality Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

What Does The Removal Of Proposition 8 Mean For The Bisexual Community?

August 12, 2010 By
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(Image) wikimedia.com/Second Life/TwoWings

With all the depressing headlines lately, last week when I heard that Prop 8 had been overturned in California, at first I thought it was either a joke or I had to be dreaming. I admit I had stopped following the progress of the anti-Prop 8 fight, having lost faith in CA ever giving BLGT people back their rights after they voted in Prop 8 in 2008. I never thought they would strike it down so quickly (within two years).

Naturally what followed was a lot of celebrating in the BLGT community (especially in CA!) and then the sober realization that Prop 8 or something like it could very easily be reinstated; within 24 hours anti-equality groups had already filed an appeal, and hateful articles and quotes have sprung up all over the internet.

In the aftermath of everything, an interesting question popped up: what does the overturning of Prop 8 mean for the bisexual community, and how will it affect us? For starters, many of us remember it was only a few months ago that we were being brought up as a scapegoat reason not to get rid of Prop 8! Some cynically said that’s the only time we’ve been mentioned in the whole Prop 8 saga; and unfortunately there is some truth to that. It seems that one thing the celebrations have shown is that we’re still barely being acknowledged as even being part of the fight for same-sex rights; at least not when there’s good news.

I kept hearing and reading last week about the rights of “gays and lesbians” to marry and how this will affect them marrying in California. Occasionally someone said or wrote all four BLGT letters, I think I actually saw the word bisexual written out once. You’d think after being listed as a reason not to take away Prop 8, we’d at least get more than that!

That being said, this also presents several positive opportunities for the bisexual community; to celebrate with the rest of our BLGT brothers and sisters, to be more vocal and visible, and to remind people that as bisexuals, this is a victory and a right for us too. A big part of the victory is that bisexual men and women living in CA will now be able to marry their same sex partners, and for some in the closet, it may mean finally coming out.

It’s also a new opportunity to put ourselves in the spotlight more as out bisexuals and help in the fight to keep Prop 8 (and other laws like it around the country) from coming back and/or from being passed. This can be accomplished both by working with other BLGT people and by focusing on the unique needs of our own community. If we step back and get discouraged, things will never change.

Filed Under: Bi Advocacy, Culture Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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