STUDY: Kids Of Same-Sex Female Couples Are Well-Adjusted

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(Image Credit:) Wikimediacommons.com/Magnus Manske

A new study has come out that’s being hailed as groundbreaking: Teens of Lesbians Just as Happy as Teens of Straight Parents, Study Finds. As much as I wish they’d said “same-sex female couples” instead of “lesbian couples”, it’s obvious that this applies to bisexual women in same sex female relationships as well.

A summary of the basics of the study: “The study took 78 17-year-olds from the NLLFS—all of whom have lesbian mothers—and matched them based on gender, age, parental education, and ethnic background with 78 17-year-olds who have opposite-sex parents. All were scored based on their responses to statements like, ‘I feel I’m getting along with my parents/guardians,’ ‘I look forward to the future,’ and ‘I feel good about myself.’ The result? Both groups “responded generally in the same way. The study also found that teens with lesbian mothers had no difference in quality of life based on known vs. unknown donors or on whether their mothers were still together or had separated. Additionally, it found that although nearly half of the NLLFS adolescents said they had been teased, excluded from activities, or stereotyped as being different, particularly by classmates, as a result of having a lesbian mother, this was not associated with a lesser quality of life. Previous studies from the NLLFS have found that the teens ‘demonstrate significantly higher social competence’ and ‘significantly lower total problem behavior than the standard population’. Additionally, a previous study found that among the 78 children in the NLLFS, none report having ever been physically or sexually abused by a parent or other caregiver. This contrasts with 26 percent of American adolescents who report parent or caregiver physical abuse and 8.3 percent who report sexual abuse.”

It’s great that this study came out and that it’s all over the media. But many of us in the BLGT (Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Lesbian) community are going “Duh!” We’ve known and been saying this for years. Still, just like with the study that finally “proved” that bisexual men exist, it’s nice to see it in writing, and better it comes late than never. Now of course GLBT right wing opponents will try and find some way to discredit this study, but their attempts are beginning to look more and more foolish.

It’s interesting that the study showed that not only are the teens well adjusted, but in general they actually seem to be better adjusted, despite some teasing, than their counterparts with opposite-sex parents. Now of course there are bisexual women in opposite sex relationships too.  I would like to see a study that focuses specifically on both same-sex and opposite-sex couples that have at least one bisexual partner.  It would be interesting to see if having a bisexual parents (or two) makes any difference.  I would guess not, and I’m sure there were bisexual women in this study, but still it would be nice to have a study that focused more on bisexuality as a factor.

Another “unsurprise –there was no sexual abuse—yet another thing BLGT people already knew. I definitely hope to see more studies like this—and next time I hope they involve bisexuality or at least use the phrase “same-sex” couple(s)!

Liking A Boy Who Likes Girls And Boys

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OPINION: I often read a blog called The Good Men Project (check it out). I like the diversity of opinion and respectfulness of the blog, as well as the strong emphasis on the rights of women, minorities, and Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender (BLGT) people. A few days ago I stumbled across the article A Girl Who Likes Boys Who Like Boys: The Joy of Dating Gay Men by Feminist Dating Blogger. The article talked about the author’s history of dating men who turned out to be gay, how she was not ashamed of it (that’s good to hear), as well as a short summary of her dating history, and how as a feminist she views gender roles. She talks about the good points of dating gay men, how they are more open with their emotions and responsive to their partners’ feelings, how despite this many still act in a way society would consider “masculine” and interestingly—what good lovers they are, even when they are with women. She also talks about changing gender rules and how they can be fluid, and the line below the picture says “the only problem with dating gay men is that they’re gay.”

It’s a great article—really; it is well written, with many good points. But as I was reading it all I could think of was the big elephant in the room: “Where is the word bisexual?” Even “fluid” made it in when talking about sexuality, but the word bisexual and idea of dating a bisexual guy didn’t? Many bisexual guys would occupy that “space” between straight and gay—you could date a guy who has some of the qualities that many women like in gay men but who actually likes women as well! I can even understand the author having a personal preference of not talking about herself dating a bisexual man, but at least mention that they exist! People mentioned this in the comments section of course, but if would have been so much better if it had been mentioned in the article. I hope more writers who write about GLBT issues start to acknowledge bisexuality; especially when the theme of an article practically screams for it.  Let’s have some bivisiblity here; especially since now “everyone” knows that bisexual men actually exist.

Top 40 Bisexual Topics and Questions of 2011

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Top Questions Asked About Bisexuals in 2011 (Photo Credit) stock.xchng/Emre Danisman

As we say goodbye to the year 2011 and move into 2012, I started to think about some of the interesting questions, stories of the past year. It’s always good to reflect and see what the world was discussing. There is nothing better than to geek out on data, on what the world wanted to know about bisexuality.

The telltale signs were all about grouping—race, entertainment celebrities, and the most asked questions are about bisexual men. Clearly there are a lot of misconceptions on “Are there bi men?, “How can I tell if my boyfriend/husband is bi?” etc, etc. This tells me we need to do a better job at reporting the issues surrounding bisexual men.

Bi Social Network started to do just that with our upcoming bisexual Bi Social magazine. As we move into the New Year, take note that we’ll continue to bring you topics that are most important to the bisexual community. From sexuality, to entertainment, bi men and women issues and the occasional opinion and political story—we’ll try to capture it all for you.

Now let’s move on to the Top 40 bisexual questions of the 2011.

  1. Is Ryan Seacrest bisexual?
  2. Am i bisexual?
  3. Do women like bisexual men?
  4. How to provide counseling to bisexual women?
  5. My wife thinks I am bisexual?
  6. why are some women attracted to bisexual men?
  7. Is Usher Raymond bisexual?
  8. How do you know if you are bisexual?
  9. Why some women become bisexual?
  10. Is Peter Reckell bisexual?
  11. How many married bisexual men are there in usa?
  12. Is my husband bisexual?
  13. [Are there bisexual tests?
  14. Can men be bisexual?
  15. I heard more than 90% of black men are bisexual.
  16. Is Ben Price bisexual?
  17. Was Charlton Heston bisexual?
  18. How to find out if a woman/girl is bisexual?
  19. How can i get my wife to confess she is bisexual?
  20. [What is the] percentage of women who are bisexual?
  21. Why [are] female friend so homophobic about bisexual female friend?
  22. Is Bear Grylls bisexual? (We think the Man vs. Wild with Jake Gyllenhaal  started the ball rolling)
  23. Is Ben Murphy bisexual?
  24. Is Gerard Butler bisexual?
  25. Is Hugh Grant bisexual?
  26. Is Lenny Kravitz bisexual
  27. Justin Bieber is bisexual.
  28. Women who like bisexual men.
  29. How to know if you are bisexual?
  30. Percent of men who would date bisexual women.
  31. Why  is every black man I date, turns out he is bisexual?
  32. Are women really bisexual?
  33. Can a bisexual man become more straight?
  34. Do women like bisexual guys?
  35. How to meet bisexual men?
  36. Is Jake Gyllenhaal bisexual?
  37. Is keith richards bisexual or gay?
  38. [Is] Vin diesel bisexual?
  39. [Is] jamie foxx is bisexual?
  40.  [Is] Obama is bisexual (Tea Party started this rumor)

 

A Study On Bisexual Women

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(Image Credit:) Wikimediacommons.com/MaraB.

It appears that yet another study has come about bisexuals, this one specifically about bisexual women. It’s good to see so many studies being done about us; hopefully that will help combat invisibility, and it’s great to see more attention being paid to women as well. I’ve written about several of these studies before, including ones about bisexual men, mental health in our community, bi invisibility, and others. This study was a local one, done at George Mason University in my neck of the woods. I participated in it by filling out some forms and questionnaires that were sent out all over the bisexual community, particularly over the internet.

While the study being done was a great thing, the results unfortunately were not. The headline of the study is called Bisexual Women Suffer Stress and Depression. Some key parts parts of the study summarized: “Bisexual women are more likely to smoke, binge drink and suffer from stress and depression, due to feelings of invisibility and little community support. Interestingly, gay and straight women do not have the same risk for alcohol abuse and depression as bisexual women. The study looked at how three different dimensions of sexuality – identity, behavior and attraction - linked with health problems.  The study also says that bisexual men seemed to have significantly lower risks for the same things.”  Well, are we surprised?  I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately, other than specifically focusing on bisexual women, there is nothing new here.  Next I’d like to see a study with suggestions on how to remedy this! This content is for members only.

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Langston Hughes: Busboy, Poet, and Bisexual?

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(Image Credit: Oxford University Press, USA, Second Edition, 2002) Cover of The Life of Langston Hughes, Volume I: 1902-1941 by Arnold Rampersad

With Celebrate Bisexuality Day and Sexual Freedom Day, I had discovered that both commemorative days are celebrated on September 23, which was this year’s fall equinox. The latter I had learned through Asexual News, which noted on Twitter ” Celebrate Sexual Freedom Day by not having sex – or have sex. It’s your choice.” Coincidentally both days were founded independently, by three bi activists in 1999 (Wendy Curry, Michael Page, and Gigi Raven Wilbur) and the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance respectively. Observing the excitement of my bi and ace friends on the same day reminded me of Langston Hughes. (Ace is a term for asexual individuals.), since there is speculation about whether or not he was gay, bisexual, or asexual. With National Coming Out Day on October 11 and Asexual Visibility and Education Day on October 12, I decided on writing about Langston Hughes for this week. This content is for members only.
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Bisexual Reflections On The Past Year

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(Image Credit:) NYABN.com

It’s that time of year again! Happy Bisexual Pride Day (September 23, but of course you all already knew that). And once again it’s time to reflect on how far the bisexual community has come in the past year, and this past year has been an amazing one!

So where to start? Well for one thing, more celebrities are being open about their bisexuality. Here at Bi Social Network we actually have a bi quote of the week now. More TV shows feature bisexuality as at least some sort of theme (Glee not withstanding). A bisexual contingent was invited to the Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender fundraiser at the white house with the President and First Lady this past July, and our very own site founder Adrienne Williams was invited as part of the bisexual group, and went! We’ve got a weekly radio show, and there is more to come soon. This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Why Avoid Saying Bisexual?

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(Image Credit:) Istock.com

Recently I started reading a blog called the Good Men Project. It’s a progressive blog about gender, race, sexuality, and other issues written by people from many different backgrounds. A lot of the articles are pretty interesting and informative, and there’s usually a good debate and/or conversation going on. A few days ago I stumbled across this article:  Mostly Straight, Most Of The Time.  It talked about men who often consider themselves “mostly straight,” meaning that more often that not, they prefer to date and be with women, but every once in a while they want to be with a guy, and they do not find the idea repulsive (great, maybe that will cut down on homophobia). While it’s great to see that more guys, especially of the younger generation, are more open to the concept of same-sex attraction, why are they saying there is “no word” for them? Why “mostly straight”, and not “bisexual with a preference for women”, or something like that? This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Who’s the Girl In the Relationship You Ask?

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I find it fascinating how many minorities fight against stereotypes while simultaneously denying they even exist. Being African American and bisexual, I have seen it on both sides. Well one common stereotype is that in gay and lesbian relationships one partner often takes on the role of the traditional wife or woman and one takes on the more masculine husband role. In other words some ask who is the girl in the relationship or rather who the more girly one is. A study was conducted on gay men and how sexual and physical preferences particularly as it relates to being the totally penetrative (top) partner and totally receptive (bottom) partner in sex. This content is for members only.

The 396 volunteers for the study were recruited from gay.com and were asked to fill out an online questionnaire in terms of sexual preference in terms of position. The options were the following:

  1. Only Bottom
  2. Versatile, but prefer Bottom
  3. Versatile, equal
  4. Versatile, but prefer Top
  5. Only Top
  6. Never had anal sex / Don’t Know

10.90 percent identified as total bottoms, 26.80 percent identified as versatile bottoms, 20 percent identified as totally versatile, 22.50 percent identified as versatile but preferred topping and 11.60 percent identified as total tops. The researchers found “the data showed that while most gay men preferred men who were around their age, gay men who identified as Only Bottoms prefer significantly older men than Only Tops.” Oddly enough, they found the same trend in height preferences, total tops preferred significantly shorter men while total bottoms preferred significantly taller men than tops. Continue reading »

Busting Bisexual Myths

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(Credit: stock.xchng)

Bisexuality seems to have the most myths of any other orientation going. From the idea that we are sex crazed fiends, to some sort of malleable blob just waiting for a partner to fix us the list just won’t end. Let’s bust those myths down to rubble! In this two part series I’m going to smash apart some of these myths with the hammer of Bisexual Truth and Humor! BAM!

Myth 1: Everybody is bisexual!
I have grown really tired of this one. It always seems to be uttered by supposedly supportive bisexual, gay, lesbian and transgender allies. What they really mean is “shut up about your life it is not important and I don’t want to hear about it so I will try and trivialize and erase it. The fastest way to bust this one? Insist the person tell you all about their same or opposite sex attractions. They will deny, deny deny faster than a politician caught with their pants down in a sleazy motel. This content is for members only.

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Bisexual Men Exist, Revisited

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Rosenthal Study Proves Bisexual Men Do Exist (Credit: istock.com | quavondo

It was a no brainer deciding what to write about this time. So much has already been said about That Study, but I wanted to give you another angle, that of a psychologist and former researcher. Where do I start? Let’s rewind a few years to that infamous headline ‘Gay, Straight, or Lying?.’ People rushed to declare that the study had “proven” that bisexual men don’t exist. Well, there’s no such thing. You can easily prove that something does exist by finding just one of it, but you can’t say something doesn’t exist just because you haven’t been able to find it. It’s basic (scientific) logic. If I go to the supermarket across the road now and spend 30 minutes trying to find blond, bilingual women called Sandra, it’s possible that I won’t find a single one. Going on to conclude that such women don’t exist is pretty stupid. A newspaper headline said that bisexual men don’t exist. They based their (scientifically invalid) conclusion on the fact that a study that was looking for them (in the wrong place) didn’t find any. So this misconception convinced many people that there was no such thing as a bi guy. Ever.This content is for members only.

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