Why bisexuals are everywhere (Credit Image: Stock.xchng)
Earlier in 2011, I was in session with a straight teenager. I had already told him more than once that using the word gay to mean lame really hurts bisexual, lesbian, gay and transgender kids. He knew about the bullying, the suicides. He himself had been bullied. He understood and was careful not to use this word at school.
In my psychotherapy sessions, anything goes: you can say what you like and use bad language. But I was helping him with social skills too, so when he used the word gay in a derogatory sense again, I reminded him of the consequences this can have. He said he knew that and was careful to use it only when he was sure there were no gays or lesbians around. So I looked him straight in the eye and said: “How can you be so sure?” He’s known me for long enough to know I live with a man. ”Are you a lesbian?” he asked, to prove a point. “No, that wouldn’t be very nice for my partner,” I replied. “See?” he said. So I said, “Have you ever heard of bisexuals?” If it hadn’t been for the sound of his jaw hitting the floor, you would have been able to hear a pin drop.
I must admit it’s never easy coming out to a teenage male client with the obligatory porn habit. It took him the week between sessions to get the idea that I was ‘kinky’ out of his head and be relaxed about it. The next time I saw him he told me that he had completely stopped using the word gay in that way. He even started telling other people off for doing it, not caring less about the teasing he gets as a result. See? Visibility makes a difference.
In December 2011, I recorded a public coming out for the Dutch lesbian/bisexual site La Vita (online soon). There are still so few visible bisexuals out there when bisexual visibility would make such a huge difference to so many lives. A good New Year’s resolution for those of you who are ready would be to make yourselves visible. But we can all help bisexual visibility by supporting Bi Social Network. We won’t survive for much longer without your financial support. Every little bit counts, so put your money where your mouth is and make us all visible.
