STUDY: Kids Of Same-Sex Female Couples Are Well-Adjusted

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(Image Credit:) Wikimediacommons.com/Magnus Manske

A new study has come out that’s being hailed as groundbreaking: Teens of Lesbians Just as Happy as Teens of Straight Parents, Study Finds. As much as I wish they’d said “same-sex female couples” instead of “lesbian couples”, it’s obvious that this applies to bisexual women in same sex female relationships as well.

A summary of the basics of the study: “The study took 78 17-year-olds from the NLLFS—all of whom have lesbian mothers—and matched them based on gender, age, parental education, and ethnic background with 78 17-year-olds who have opposite-sex parents. All were scored based on their responses to statements like, ‘I feel I’m getting along with my parents/guardians,’ ‘I look forward to the future,’ and ‘I feel good about myself.’ The result? Both groups “responded generally in the same way. The study also found that teens with lesbian mothers had no difference in quality of life based on known vs. unknown donors or on whether their mothers were still together or had separated. Additionally, it found that although nearly half of the NLLFS adolescents said they had been teased, excluded from activities, or stereotyped as being different, particularly by classmates, as a result of having a lesbian mother, this was not associated with a lesser quality of life. Previous studies from the NLLFS have found that the teens ‘demonstrate significantly higher social competence’ and ‘significantly lower total problem behavior than the standard population’. Additionally, a previous study found that among the 78 children in the NLLFS, none report having ever been physically or sexually abused by a parent or other caregiver. This contrasts with 26 percent of American adolescents who report parent or caregiver physical abuse and 8.3 percent who report sexual abuse.”

It’s great that this study came out and that it’s all over the media. But many of us in the BLGT (Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Lesbian) community are going “Duh!” We’ve known and been saying this for years. Still, just like with the study that finally “proved” that bisexual men exist, it’s nice to see it in writing, and better it comes late than never. Now of course GLBT right wing opponents will try and find some way to discredit this study, but their attempts are beginning to look more and more foolish.

It’s interesting that the study showed that not only are the teens well adjusted, but in general they actually seem to be better adjusted, despite some teasing, than their counterparts with opposite-sex parents. Now of course there are bisexual women in opposite sex relationships too.  I would like to see a study that focuses specifically on both same-sex and opposite-sex couples that have at least one bisexual partner.  It would be interesting to see if having a bisexual parents (or two) makes any difference.  I would guess not, and I’m sure there were bisexual women in this study, but still it would be nice to have a study that focused more on bisexuality as a factor.

Another “unsurprise –there was no sexual abuse—yet another thing BLGT people already knew. I definitely hope to see more studies like this—and next time I hope they involve bisexuality or at least use the phrase “same-sex” couple(s)!

Liking A Boy Who Likes Girls And Boys

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OPINION: I often read a blog called The Good Men Project (check it out). I like the diversity of opinion and respectfulness of the blog, as well as the strong emphasis on the rights of women, minorities, and Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender (BLGT) people. A few days ago I stumbled across the article A Girl Who Likes Boys Who Like Boys: The Joy of Dating Gay Men by Feminist Dating Blogger. The article talked about the author’s history of dating men who turned out to be gay, how she was not ashamed of it (that’s good to hear), as well as a short summary of her dating history, and how as a feminist she views gender roles. She talks about the good points of dating gay men, how they are more open with their emotions and responsive to their partners’ feelings, how despite this many still act in a way society would consider “masculine” and interestingly—what good lovers they are, even when they are with women. She also talks about changing gender rules and how they can be fluid, and the line below the picture says “the only problem with dating gay men is that they’re gay.”

It’s a great article—really; it is well written, with many good points. But as I was reading it all I could think of was the big elephant in the room: “Where is the word bisexual?” Even “fluid” made it in when talking about sexuality, but the word bisexual and idea of dating a bisexual guy didn’t? Many bisexual guys would occupy that “space” between straight and gay—you could date a guy who has some of the qualities that many women like in gay men but who actually likes women as well! I can even understand the author having a personal preference of not talking about herself dating a bisexual man, but at least mention that they exist! People mentioned this in the comments section of course, but if would have been so much better if it had been mentioned in the article. I hope more writers who write about GLBT issues start to acknowledge bisexuality; especially when the theme of an article practically screams for it.  Let’s have some bivisiblity here; especially since now “everyone” knows that bisexual men actually exist.

A Study On Bisexual Women

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(Image Credit:) Wikimediacommons.com/MaraB.

It appears that yet another study has come about bisexuals, this one specifically about bisexual women. It’s good to see so many studies being done about us; hopefully that will help combat invisibility, and it’s great to see more attention being paid to women as well. I’ve written about several of these studies before, including ones about bisexual men, mental health in our community, bi invisibility, and others. This study was a local one, done at George Mason University in my neck of the woods. I participated in it by filling out some forms and questionnaires that were sent out all over the bisexual community, particularly over the internet.

While the study being done was a great thing, the results unfortunately were not. The headline of the study is called Bisexual Women Suffer Stress and Depression. Some key parts parts of the study summarized: “Bisexual women are more likely to smoke, binge drink and suffer from stress and depression, due to feelings of invisibility and little community support. Interestingly, gay and straight women do not have the same risk for alcohol abuse and depression as bisexual women. The study looked at how three different dimensions of sexuality – identity, behavior and attraction - linked with health problems.  The study also says that bisexual men seemed to have significantly lower risks for the same things.”  Well, are we surprised?  I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately, other than specifically focusing on bisexual women, there is nothing new here.  Next I’d like to see a study with suggestions on how to remedy this! This content is for members only.

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Reflections On Internalized Homophobia or Biphobia, Part 2

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In my last article I wrote about internalized biphobia and/or homophobia, and how I had recently experienced it myself. At the end I had asked: So—what to do? How do those of us in the bisexual, gay, lesbian and transgender (BLGT) community who deal with this, try and move past it?

Talk about tackling a difficult issue! While the BLGT community’s efforts have had some effects on making at least the more liberal parts of the straight community more tolerant and supportive of BLGT people, ironically and unfortunately, it seems to have had more trouble doing the same with internalized homophobia and/or biphobia. One major effort made by BLGT organizations, early education in schools—explaining to kids that just like some people are black, and there’s nothing wrong with that, some people have two mommies or two daddies instead of one mommy and one daddy, and that’s okay—has been shown not only to significantly reduce bullying, but it also seems to result in less internalized biphobia and/or homophobia. Having Gay-Straight Alliances in schools as kids get older and form clubs in school is also a great idea, and there are more of them springing up. However, while schools in a few states have managed to implement these early education measures, both these and the Gay-Straight Alliance efforts have been met with huge backlashes from the religious community, as well from well-meaning parents who were scared by propaganda of their children being “taught to be gay”.  The Gay-Straight Alliance Clubs have met more success, but still face significant barriers. As a result, many have programs have either been severely curtailed or completely done away with. I strongly believe that if more of these early educational measures could be implemented, it could really make a dent in helping kids BLGT kids with internalized biphobia and/or homophobia. This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Reflections On Internalized Homophobia or Biphobia, Part 1

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Internalized homo[phobia] and/or biphobia are defined as negative feeling towards oneself because of one’s homosexuality or bisexuality. It causes severe discomfort with or disapproval of one’s own sexual orientation. Sometimes the term “internalized stigma” is used instead. In addition, internalized biphobia can also include denying bisexuality exists and engaging in bisexual invisibility, as well as propagating some of the other stereotypes about bisexuals. Social homophobia and/or biphobia is the fear of being identified as gay or bisexual, especially in public.

Why bring these up? Because last week, I, bisexual crusader, writer, and activist for bisexual, lesbian, gay, and transgender rights, experienced some internalized homophobia or biphobia that I had thought long gone, and realized that I have a longer way to go getting rid of it that I had realized. I can’t be out to my family, but I am out to co-workers (on this site, I would hope so!) and to all of my close friends, and I’ve participated in several BLGT events where I’ve felt out and proud, and pretty outspoken about bisexuality and its place in both the gay and straight communities. So imagine my surprise when last week, during my swimming aerobics class, a girl in my class (who I assumed was either bisexual or a lesbian because of a rainbow sticker on her backpack that I saw in the locker room) started trying to flirt with me and catch my eye during class. I wear bracelets that have the rainbow and bi colors on them (luckily my family doesn’t know what they mean), and she obviously recognized them. This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Talking About Mental Health In The LGBT Community

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The Complex Interaction Of BLGT Issues And Mental Health Issues Is Too Often Not Understood Well

Every community, even traditionally stigmatized communities, has its secretive issues that aren’t talked about much, and the Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender communities are no exception. One of the most difficult issues to bring up and talk about in BLGT circles is that of mental health. The BLGT community has had a rather complicated love/hate relationship with the issue of mental health and Psychology in general. One the one hand, since there is still a too often widespread belief (that is luckily diminishing), especially in conservative religious communities and most religious countries that bisexuality, homosexuality, transgenderism, and gender queer behavior are mental illnesses. Alternative sexualities weren’t even declassified as mental illnesses in the US Psychological community until 1975. There are still many “Make Them Straight” camps and centers in the United States alone, even an association called The National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) that masquerades has a legitimate scientific organization, and unfortunately is sometimes taken seriously. Given all of this, it’s understandable why the issue of mental illness is a very touchy one in the BLGT community. Many people are already sensitive to being thought of as “sick”, and if they do have a mental health issue, they don’t want to deal with the double stigma, and they also fear stigmatization from other parts of the BLGT community. They do not want to fit into the stereotype of the “crazy queer”. To make matters even worse, issues such as depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide affect the BLGT community at higher rates than the general population, often because of family pressure and rejection, society’s stigmatization of same-sex relationships, and other reasons. While many do seek help, it is still an issue that is overall kept pretty quiet in the BLGT community.This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Bisexual Reflections On The Past Year

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It’s that time of year again! Happy Bisexual Pride Day (September 23, but of course you all already knew that). And once again it’s time to reflect on how far the bisexual community has come in the past year, and this past year has been an amazing one!

So where to start? Well for one thing, more celebrities are being open about their bisexuality. Here at Bi Social Network we actually have a bi quote of the week now. More TV shows feature bisexuality as at least some sort of theme (Glee not withstanding). A bisexual contingent was invited to the Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender fundraiser at the white house with the President and First Lady this past July, and our very own site founder Adrienne Williams was invited as part of the bisexual group, and went! We’ve got a weekly radio show, and there is more to come soon. This content is for members only. Continue reading »

Why Avoid Saying Bisexual?

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Recently I started reading a blog called the Good Men Project. It’s a progressive blog about gender, race, sexuality, and other issues written by people from many different backgrounds. A lot of the articles are pretty interesting and informative, and there’s usually a good debate and/or conversation going on. A few days ago I stumbled across this article:  Mostly Straight, Most Of The Time.  It talked about men who often consider themselves “mostly straight,” meaning that more often that not, they prefer to date and be with women, but every once in a while they want to be with a guy, and they do not find the idea repulsive (great, maybe that will cut down on homophobia). While it’s great to see that more guys, especially of the younger generation, are more open to the concept of same-sex attraction, why are they saying there is “no word” for them? Why “mostly straight”, and not “bisexual with a preference for women”, or something like that? This content is for members only. Continue reading »

The Truth Comes Out: Bisexual Men Exist!

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(Image Credit): Wikimedia.com/Kenk8

OP-ED: Last week, I got one of the best pleasant surprises I’ve had in a long time. Finally, someone published a study, called No Surprise for Bisexual Men: Report Indicates They Exist totally overruling that ridiculous 2005 Gay, Straight, Or Lying “study” by J. Michael Bailey. It was even more surprising that it was published by Northwestern University, the same school that published the original study, in The New York Times, which wrote about the first study. The biggest surprise was the experiment was headed by J. Michael Bailey himself, who has claimed that his original research was misinterpreted and sought to rectify that, and for that I give him a lot of credit. In the new study, bisexual men for the study were actually recruited from the bisexual community instead of the gay and straight communities.

So how is this going to impact the bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender community? For many people in the bisexual community, the first reaction was “It’s about time”, and also, from some of us, especially bisexual men, “See, I told you so!” I admit I had fun posting the article and saying “So there” to the haters. Will it make a difference? To those who are open minded, especially those who value scientific studies, yes. To those who are determined to deny our existence? No. They’ll find some other excuse. It was always amusing to see the Bailey study quoted in comments from gay, lesbian, and straight people who were vociferous in saying bisexuals don’t exist; when bisexuals tried to point out inconsistencies in the study, they were laughed at. I wonder if those same biphobes will now try and find inconsistencies in the new study? This content is for members only. Continue reading »

The Covering Up Of Anti-LGBT Funding

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I read online a few days ago that Expedia.com just recently stopped giving money to The Christian Values Network because of CVT’s supporting of anti Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender (BLGT) causes. I was surprised it took this long; wasn’t it common knowledge that CVT has been doing this for ages? Why would any company still be supporting them?

When I looked into the background of The Christian Values Network some more, I found that many companies had been supporting them, most of whom claimed they hadn’t known what CVT was supporting, but when they found out, they stopped the support. Expedia as much as said this on their Facebook page. It’s nice to see that such a quick response came from the BLGT community and that we galvanized so quickly to let Expedia (and other companies) know the situation. Obviously, people have learned about CVT over the years, and I wanted to learn more as well. I couldn’t help but wonder, what anti-BLGT company had managed to fool Microsoft, Macy’s, Apple, Expedia, Hotels.com, Priceline,and several others into supporting it and not knowing where their money was going? I searched and at fist I couldn’t find much; but then more started coming to light. This content is for members only. Continue reading »

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