interview

Bisexuality on the Real World Revisited

Coming Out Bisexual On The Real World

By the Way, Did You See “Bi The Way?”

Micah Kellner: New York’s Openly Bisexual Assemblyman

Bisexuality on the Real World Revisited

Password Reset

Bi Social Network eStore

Bi Social Network Calender Events

Subscribe to our Mailing List

Sign Up for WEB ARTICLES UPDATES

advert

Jessie J Music

Listen to Bi Talk Radio Weekly

May 6, 2010 By MariaM

x
Bookmark

(Photo by: MTV.com/Real World) Mike Manning talks about being bisexual on the Real World

It seems that by now almost everyone has heard of the “Real World Controversy” over Mike Manning’s sexuality (Coming Out Bisexual on The Real World). Queerty still seems to feel the need to publish biphobic articles (Will Anyone Ever Believe Real World DC‘s Mike Manning Is Bi? is the worst but there are so many others on that site) when talking about him, and the comments are no better. It is truly amazing how someone’s bisexuality seems to be a huge threat to some people’s feelings of “gayness.” It’s also pretty much public knowledge (Emily’s interview) now that both Mike Manning and Emily Schromm’s sexuality was glossed over the by the editors of The Real World—who made Mike appear to be only with men, when he hooked up with at least one girl on the show, a fellow cast mate, Ashley (Real World DC Episode 8 Aftershow).

Emily had also hooked up with a fellow cast mate, a guy name Ty, but in her AfterEllen interview she said that while on the show she was more into girls and brought several home, that was never shown on the show. Other hookups and relationships by some of the straight cast members were also not shown, so it is conceivable that everything could have just been edited out for the sake of brevity. However, it does seem that at least one or two references to Mike and Emily’s different choices of dates could have been made. Was it just normal editing of a show, or deliberate biphobia and bisexual erasure?

About a month ago, right around the time the Real World DC show ended, MTV aired a Real World DC Reunion Show (viewable here at MTV), where the cast members from the show come back together and talk now that the show has ended. The last portion of the reunion show was particularly interesting, as Mike Manning and Emily Schromm discussed their bisexuality. It started with clips being of other cast members openly doubting Mike’s sexuality during the course of the show; saying he’s really gay.

(Photo by: MTV.com/Real World) Emily Schromm

Mike and Emily both then talked about their bisexuality. Mike said that although he leans more towards men, he is still attracted to women, and what bothers him the most is when people say that he is “lying” (for an example see Queerty’s article The Reason Mike Manning Brought So Many Bros Back to the Real World House?) He said he felt like saying to those people “Who are you to tell me who I am?” He also pointed out that he is fully out, so what would be the point of lying? The host then asked him in a rather skeptical tone how come he brought mostly men home during the show (although she seems to have forgotten the hookup with Ashley being edited out). Mike replied that because for the first time in his life “the candy store was open” when it came to men. Emily then expressed something similar about herself in regards to women, and expressed surprise that none of that was shown on the show. I remember surmising as much about why Mike brought home more men when the controversy first hit, so it was nice to hear him say that. He appears to also have his own blog now on Mike Gets Real, where he plans to talk about many of the issues that came up during the show.

After that, a couple of the cast members started saying that at a party the night before they had seen Mike going for girls. One of them even seemed like he might actually be convinced Mike was really bisexual. At least they took the time to listen to both Mike and Emily without contradicting them this time.

Mike’s question of “Who are you to tell me who I am?” is a very good one that all bisexuals should ask of those who seek to make us invisible or downplay our existence (Take Me Out To The Ballgame). Why is it so important to some people that we don’t exist, and who exactly are they to say that we don’t? Real World did not handle Mike and Emily’s sexuality the best way throughout the season, but it’s good that at least at the end of everything they allowed them to speak for themselves.

Filed Under: Entertainment Tagged With: biphobia, bisexual, bisocialnetwork, BLGT, cast members, Emily Schromm, GLBT, interview, Mike Manning, MTV, Queerty, Real World DC

January 15, 2010 By MariaM

x
Bookmark

Mike Manning and Emily Schromm

When I heard that the 23rd season of MTV’s The Real World was going to take place in my hometown of Washington DC, and was going to feature two out bisexuals, I had to tune in. The show has turned out to be quite interesting. The two bisexual characters are Emily Schromm, who is 21, and Mike Manning, who is 22. Both are newly out; Emily was raised strictly religious just had her first relationship with a woman; Mike was raised very religious as well and is struggling to reconcile his faith with his sexuality, and just came out and started exploring his sexuality right before he came to DC. He came out to his housemates at dinner in the first episode, and they all seemed okay with it. He said that while he doesn’t like labels overall, he would label himself as bisexual, and has dated both men and women.

Several articles were written about both characters on BLGT blogs around the time the show premiered last December, and most were positive. Yet only one episode had aired—and already the sirens were off in the form of pages of comments saying “he’s not really bi, he’s gay, there’s no such thing as bi in men”—going on and on about the “bi now, gay later” stereotype, and quoting that ridiculous and disproven J. Michael Bailey study (how many times does a study have to be discredited before it gets through to some people)?! The absolute worst ones were here and here. Men from both the gay and the straight communities weighed in. It was nice to see that there were several comments defending Mike, more so than the last time a bisexual man came out, so that is progress, but unfortunately the negative ones outweighed the positive ones. It is truly amazing how many people want to decide someone else’s sexuality for them, including sadly, some of Mike and Emily’s roommates who think he’s ”just confused and is really gay” and tell her that “it’s okay if you are a lesbian”.

As much as I didn’t like the overflow of comments, there is actually progress. Much less has been said overall questioning Emily’s sexual identity, at least in the BLGT community—and I do remember a time when that was different, so it seems there is definitely a positive trend a somewhat growing acceptance for female bisexuality, though possibly not always for the reasons we would like. But it seems male bisexuality is one of the last and biggest barriers to more acceptance of bisexuals in general. What are some of the reasons for this? Let’s examine them through the adventures of Mike Manning on The Real World, and through some of the stereotypes that showed up over and over in the comments about him.

For starters there was the whole “I knew a bisexual man and he turned out to be gay”. Well, so he did. I stated in this article my opinion on what label people who are unsure when they come out should use. The actions of a few people who use the wrong label or really do go through a phase should not be used to label an entire community. I’ve actually seen a lot of the opposite: several bi men who do not want to use the bisexual label because of the negative connotation. Secondly, there was the whole “he doesn’t want to fully come out and wants to hold on to hetero-privilege”. Well, Mike Manning is totally out to his family, and came out again on national television no less. Being from a religious family myself, I can tell you that being bisexual isn’t any easier than being gay-neither one is considered good. Just ask Emily—her own sister rejected her after she came out to her on live TV. As for the hetero-privilege myth, this is my answer to that one.

A rather odd argument was that Mike has used the terms gay and bi interchangeably a few times, so that proves he is gay. I know very few bisexual and transgender people who don’t sometimes do that. Gay has become a catchall term for BLGT, and since most of society doesn’t treat bisexuals very differently from gays, many of us feel comfortable interchanging the two sometimes.

Mike Manning-Picture from MTV.com

Another argument was that rumors have said that overall by the end of the show, he had dated more guys than girls. In the first two episodes, he made out with a girl and a guy. Why is anyone surprised by this? He just came out! He’s been suppressing the side of him that is attracted to men for years, and all those years he’s been able to act on his feelings for women, so naturally he’s going to want to explore the male attractions. When I first came out as bi, I was mainly into women for months. I’d had a 14 year head start on my attraction to men and had barely acted on my attraction to women-I wanted to make up for lost time. Once I got used to the idea of being out, I evened out. I’ve had several other bisexual people tell me they went through something similar, and I suspect that is what Mike went through. This really was not only the first time he was really out, but the first time he had access to a thriving gay community. I would have been surprised if he hadn’t chosen to explore it.

Also, Mike could “lean” more toward men, as being bisexual certainly doesn’t have to mean having a “50/50″ attraction (in fact most of us lean one way or the other). But if he’s still attracted to both sexes-then he’s bi! (See latest update below to learn more about this, apparently there was “creative editing” going on). Does someone’s “bi card” get revoked because their attractions aren’t always equal? Many people seem to think a “true bisexual” has to be 50/50. Most of us actually tend to lean one way or the other.

People have come up with other terms to describe which way they lean, such as “bi gay”, “bi straight”, “bi queer”, “homoflexible” and “heteroflexible”. While I don’t like to tell anyone how to label themselves, I do think people need to be less afraid to just use the term “bisexual” somewhere in their label. Words can be very powerful. When the girl he kissed on the show (and apparently slept with behind the scenes) saw him kissing a guy, she was all grossed out and couldn’t believe she had been with a bi guy. I’m pretty sure that reactions like that from women are another reason male bisexuality isn’t popular—who wants to hear that?

Just recently Mike Manning himself gave two great interviews— one in Metro Weekly , the other in Realitywanted —both definite must reads, and most of the comments were positive! Contrary to the rumors that he no longer identified as bisexual, he embraces the label (as much as someone who doesn’t like labels can), and talks about the biphobia in the gay community that he’s had to deal with. He also says that once guys he dates actually get to know him, they start to believe he really is bi. Personally I say thank you to Mike Manning for not bowing to pressure, for being true to who he is, and for openly embracing the label.

Emily Schromm recently gave a great interview as well to the website AfterEllen, telling us a bit more about her and her background, and about how while her bisexuality was acknowledged on the show, it was downplayed as far as showing who she dated while on the show and living in the Real World DC house. She embraced the label as well and I’m proud of her for not caving to pressure either. My hope is that as more bisexual men like Mike Manning and bisexual women like Emily Schromm come out, more people in both the straight and BLGT communities will take the time to get to know them and try and see them for who they really are—not who they think they should be.

Latest Update as of March 2010: It turns out that both Mike and Emily’s hookups with women were edited out of the show, but both are talked out in this aftershow video and this interview. Both were made to appear to be mostly attracted to men. Why was it done this way? Maybe for ratings? I’d like to hope it’s not due to biphobia, but I really have to wonder.

More Links about Mike and Emily and The Real World, and other articles mentioned in this piece:

Emily Schromm’s AfterEllen Interview

Real World DC Episode 8 Aftershow

Two Bisexuals On The Real World

‘The Real World: DC’ features bisexual housemate

Real World DC’s Bisexual Emily

Watch The Real World

The Entire Bi-Sexual History of Real World: D.C.‘s Mike Manning

Forget the Token Gay: Tonight’s Real World: DC Premiere Has 2 Bisexuals

Two bisexuals — a guy and girl — move into the sex-charged house of MTV’s ‘Real World’

Bi Now, Gay Later?

Mike Manning’s Interview with MetroWeekly

Mike Manning’s Interview with RealityWanted

Mike Manning’s Interview with Windy City Times

UNC student opens up while on MTV reality show

Emily Schromm’s Interview with StarPulse

The Power of Words in the Bisexual Community

Using the Questioning Label

Bisexuals, The Hetero-privilege Myth?

Filed Under: Celebrity, Entertainment, Television Tagged With: article, Bi Social Network, biphobia, bisexual, BLGT, Emily Schromm, gay, GLBT, interview, Mike Manning, queer, religion, straight, The Real World, Washington DC

August 20, 2009 By MariaM

x
Bookmark

Picture from bithewaymovie.com

So, who caught Logo airing “Bi the Way” two weeks ago? If not, you can catch it here. I watched it and I had to admit overall I was pleasantly surprised. It, portrayed us in a positive light, was called a “gay documentary” (implying inclusion in the community), aired a couple of times, and was put on the internet. The feedback online seemed mostly positive. I figure any portrayal of us that’s not negative and says we exist overall is a good thing. But I have seen some criticisms from other bisexual people, and having thought about it, I can see that some of them are valid. Are we so desperate for any coverage that’s not negative that we are afraid to criticize anything? Part of me did wonder. People from both the gay and the straight communities will watch this and take away many ideas about us from it, so what those are ideas are is important.

I decided to examine what I felt were both the positive and the negative aspects of the film. The positives: It starts off with the two filmmakers traveling cross country to interview bisexual people and ask people what they think of bisexuality. The cross country thing was a good idea; it gives you the feel of talking to the whole country. The tone of the film was very laid back; it moved quickly talked to many different people with many different takes on the subject. It showed both men and women from varied circumstances, and it showed articles about the subject and talked about scientific studies, and talked to a few leaders of the bi community, such as Mike Syzmanski.

The movie also links bisexuality to the greater BTLG community by showing that like some gay teens, some bi teens face a lot of trouble from their families when they are discovered. In the movie, one such teen is thrown out of her house. It also tips its hat to the idea that there is a genetic component in sexuality; it shows a gay dad with a son who thinks he might be bisexual. I hope this helps both gay and straight people realize that our hardships are the very similar to those of the gay community and we’re not that different.

The negatives: it was only 2 hours. I heard the filmmakers had a lot of footage, and the movie should have been longer and included more. Hopefully there will be deleted scenes on the DVD. They had footage of Bi centers, activists like Robyn Ochs and Dr. Fritz Klein, and more diversity that was not included. While there were people from several different circumstances, I noticed except for one person, all of the interviewees showed were white. The BTLG, especially the gay community, has had problems with race, and it would have been nice to break the stereotype that BTLG issues are a “whites only” thing. As we know well, it affects people of all ethnicities and races.

Some bi people have felt that the movie stereotypes us. While overall I liked it, I can see their points. While all of the people interviewed talk about past same-sex relationships and opposite sex relationships, all of the women are currently in opposite-sex relationships, and all of the men are currently in same-sex relationships. I can see how this can further the stereotype that they are really just experimenting and all end up with men anyway. Another issue for me was that both of the filmmakers were straight. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that two straight people are open-minded, but no one understands bisexuals better than, well, bisexuals. I think the film would have been more rounded if the filmmakers could relate to their subjects’ experiences.

It also bothered me was they talked about that stupid 2005 “study” by J. Michael Bailey. While I understand they wanted to present all points of view (why else interview notorious gay biphobe Dan Savage?!), this was the only study they really talked about at length. They presented others, but didn’t dwell on them very long or only showed news clips. While admitting there were several studies was a positive thing in itself, as I said above, more detail should have been given to several studies and not just the Bailey one, especially since it has widely been proven to be false (as well as another bogus study saying all women are bisexual!) and its researcher a known bi and transphobe. To give the filmmakers credit, they cut out the interview with Bailey. However, there was one very important study that proved bisexuality is a distinct orientation in women (read it here). Honestly, the fact that they didn’t mention this is what bothered me the most, overall.

Overall though, while most of these criticisms are significant, except for leaving out the study about bisexual women, I don’t feel they are overwhelming. The movie was mostly positive, not biphobic, and will have a wide-reaching audience. Overall, not bad for a first try, and I hope more and better ones will follow.

My grade is a B-. I do encourage you to check out the movie, and if you like it, buy the DVD, and let others know about it too.

To read more about Bi the way and opinions about it, watch it, and/or order the DVD, check out:

Filed Under: Culture Tagged With: Bi Social Network, Bi the Way, bisexual, BLTG, Documentary, DVD, gay, GLBT, interview, lesbian, Logo, men, Mike Syzmanski, opposite-sex relationships, Robyn Ochs, same-sex relationships, science, study, transgender, women

August 11, 2009 By MariaM

x
Bookmark

Learn about Democratic Assemblyman Michal Kellner from the state of New York. Did we mention he’s a proud and out Bisexual? Read our exclusive interview.

Filed Under: Culture Tagged With: acceptance, advocate, assemblyman, Bi Social Network, bisexual, BTLG, gay, Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, GLBT, interview, lesbian, marriage equality, Micah Kellner, New York, out, Politics, transgender

8 Events on February 8, 2012 Kimberly McLeod 'Elixher' - Black History Series Starts: 5:00 pm Ends: February 8, 2012 - 5:30 pm Location: Bi Talk Radio - Podcast Description: ELIXHER is your go-to resource for all things empowering, thought-provoking, and pertinent to the Black female queer community and experience. You’ll find uplifting profiles, local events, political commentary, personal reflections, and more! More details...

12 Events on February 12, 2012 Twitter Live Chat Starts: 7:00 pm Ends: February 12, 2012 - 9:00 pm Location: Bi Social Network Description: Come to our site and chat live with us, using our Twitter Chat IM at the bottom right of the site. We will have topics every two weeks on what's going on with the community or to talking about geeky things such Torchwood, or any bi candy celeb. More details...