Inequality in America

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Credit Image: Alliance to GET the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (AGENDA)

2011 has seen a lot of change in the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian and Transgendered (BLGT) community—change for the better. From California’s “Prop 8” allowing same sex marriage in that state, the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” allowing members of the BLGT community to serve openly in the United States armed forces to the legalization of Same-Sex marriage in Washington D.C.—the nation’s Capital! It would seem to be a good time to be a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered citizen, a time to embrace who you are with Pride and without fear. Unless, that is, you are a state employee in the State of Ohio or if you are a member of the BLGT community in one of the twenty states that offer no state-level protection for Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian or Transgendered employees—no protection at all against harassment, protection of employment or even protection of housing. Continue reading »

The War for Equality

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Photograph by Brett Lock (http://brettlock.blogspot.com)

The BLGT community has been enjoying a lot of victory and support of late. Gay, lesbian and bisexual people are portrayed positively on our televisions and in film, there are many gay, lesbian and bisexual performing artists and now the community has begun to realize some real life victories. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has been repealed by a 234-194 vote. The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) has been repealed—making the definition of marriage something that State governments determine rather than Federal. Joining this list of victories is the overturning of California’s “Prop 8” bill declaring:

“Plaintiffs have demonstrated by overwhelming evidence that Proposition 8 violates their due process and equal protection rights and that they will continue to suffer these constitutional violations until state officials cease enforcement of Proposition 8. California is able to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, as it has already issued 18,000 marriage licenses to same-sex couples and has not suffered any demonstrated harm as a result [. . .] moreover, California officials have chosen not to defend Proposition 8 in these proceedings.”

With so many victories under our collective belts it can be easy to trick one ’s self into believing that the war for equality is being won. The danger in believing this is that it tempts us to forget the other battles that are being fought.

A report from the Kyrgyz Republic—released days after the Prop 8 ruling—reveals that the lives of thirty bisexual and gay men are fraught with danger and persecution. Of thirty men interviewed for this report, twelve identify as bisexual men while fifteen were age 25 or younger. The report goes on to reveal stories that many in the BLGT community are familiar with:

“It happened in December. A guy was stopped by militia. Out of nothing they start checking for documents. He didn’t have any. He’s a bit feminine, mannered – so they got it immediately. They said: “You’re gay, aren’t you? Let’s go to your parents now.” They demanded eight thousand soms.”

Labrys, an orginazation aimed at improving the quality of life for the BLGT community in the Kyrgyz Republic was founded in 2004 and currently has 1,000 members. Syinat Sultanalieva, executive director of Labrys, said in February that violations of the rights of people of non-traditional sexual orientation occur most frequently within the family, saying of her organization: “Our organization has started a ‘refuge’ project. We provide temporary accommodation to those people who have been thrown out of their homes, or who have left of their own accord because their families do not accept the choice they have made,” With bisexual and gay youth being thrown out of their homes and forced to seek refuge, it begins to become clear that the struggle for equality and acceptance is far from over.

Other battles are far more subtle and far more dangerous. Also within days of the prop 8 decision, bioethicists are accused a noted American pediatric endocrinologist and researcher of what they claim is the first attempt to prevent homosexuality and bisexuality in the womb. The pediatrician, Dr. Maria New of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Florida International University, is a longtime champion of the prenatal use of a powerful steroidal medication called dexamethasone to prevent the development of congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH )— a condition which can result in girls being born with ambiguous genitalia.

Amongst the bioethicists charging Dr. New is Alice Dreger, professor of clinical medical humanities and bioethics at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine who charges:

“Her main goal has been to prevent ambiguous genitalia and all the things that come with it, including what she calls ‘behavioral masculinization’ [sic] She includes in that what she calls ‘masculinized orientation.’”

CAH has a status as a rare condition—prompting several medical societies to suggest guidelines be put in place that establish prenatal treatment for CAH as experimental. Additionally the guidelines will note that dexamethasone can cause low birth weight and birth defects. The proposed guidelines do not mention and are not concerned with sexuality or orientation.

This style of Eugenics may seem like something from science fiction—however, it is clear that the prejudices against gay, lesbian and bisexual men and women are alive and well and it appears that there is a long way to go before the war for equality is over.

What Does The Removal Of Proposition 8 Mean For The Bisexual Community?

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(Image) wikimedia.com/Second Life/TwoWings

With all the depressing headlines lately, last week when I heard that Prop 8 had been overturned in California, at first I thought it was either a joke or I had to be dreaming. I admit I had stopped following the progress of the anti-Prop 8 fight, having lost faith in CA ever giving BLGT people back their rights after they voted in Prop 8 in 2008. I never thought they would strike it down so quickly (within two years).

Naturally what followed was a lot of celebrating in the BLGT community (especially in CA!) and then the sober realization that Prop 8 or something like it could very easily be reinstated; within 24 hours anti-equality groups had already filed an appeal, and hateful articles and quotes have sprung up all over the internet.

In the aftermath of everything, an interesting question popped up: what does the overturning of Prop 8 mean for the bisexual community, and how will it affect us? For starters, many of us remember it was only a few months ago that we were being brought up as a scapegoat reason not to get rid of Prop 8! Some cynically said that’s the only time we’ve been mentioned in the whole Prop 8 saga; and unfortunately there is some truth to that. It seems that one thing the celebrations have shown is that we’re still barely being acknowledged as even being part of the fight for same-sex rights; at least not when there’s good news.

I kept hearing and reading last week about the rights of “gays and lesbians” to marry and how this will affect them marrying in California. Occasionally someone said or wrote all four BLGT letters, I think I actually saw the word bisexual written out once. You’d think after being listed as a reason not to take away Prop 8, we’d at least get more than that!

That being said, this also presents several positive opportunities for the bisexual community; to celebrate with the rest of our BLGT brothers and sisters, to be more vocal and visible, and to remind people that as bisexuals, this is a victory and a right for us too. A big part of the victory is that bisexual men and women living in CA will now be able to marry their same sex partners, and for some in the closet, it may mean finally coming out.

It’s also a new opportunity to put ourselves in the spotlight more as out bisexuals and help in the fight to keep Prop 8 (and other laws like it around the country) from coming back and/or from being passed. This can be accomplished both by working with other BLGT people and by focusing on the unique needs of our own community. If we step back and get discouraged, things will never change.

Bisexuals and Monogamy

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Why is this the image so many have of bisexuals?

The bisexual community often feels overlooked in the fight for same-sex marriage. Last week, we were finally acknowledged—as a scapegoat and an argument to uphold Prop 8!  Apparently allowing same-sex marriage is dangerous because bisexuals will want to marry someone of each gender, and then soon we will move on to plural marriage!  The exact wording is laid out here, and it’s ridiculous, but unfortunately it’s a familiar stereotype. Sometimes relations between the bisexual community and the gay and lesbian communities can already be strained, and this is not going to help matters.

Let me first say that I have nothing against polyamory; there’s plenty of people of all orientations that it works for. But as I said in my “Bi-but” article, liking more than one gender does not automatically mean you are polyamorous. In fact, the majority of people in the polyamorous community identify as straight. It’s ironic that while some people are asking if the word bisexual is too restrictive because of “bi” meaning only two, others take the “bi” part so literally that they think it means two all the time!

The message that bisexuals automatically have to be in plural relationships is very pervasive in our society. One reason I hesitated to come out as bisexual, even though I’d known for years that I was, was because I’d constantly heard that all bisexuals were people involved in plural relationships and/or swingers, and since I wasn’t either, it was confusing. It wasn’t until I went to a local group for bisexual women that I learned otherwise, and then I had to explain to several well meaning friends that I was still monogamous. Last year when I interviewed out bisexual NY Assemblyman Micah Kellner, he recalled an incident in his local political arena where he had to correct the exact same argument about bisexuals that is now being used to uphold Prop 8. While of course there is some overlap between bisexuality and polyamory, there doesn’t seem to be anymore than there is in the gay, lesbian, and straight communities. So why does the stereotype persist?

The BLGT community has made several gains in the past few decades; one of them being getting more of society to see that they are not sick, dangerous, or evil, and that there are many commonalities to focus on. Same-sex relationships have a lot of the same issues as opposite-sex ones, and BLGT people have the same struggles with work, family, and daily living as everyone else. It’s getting harder for marriage opponents to cast BLGT people as the “other”. Monogamy is one thing that many people on both sides have in common, and even though society has become more accepting, the idea of non-monogamous relationships is still very controversial. Bringing that argument into the marriage debate is a way for marriage equality opponents to try once again to paint the BLGT community as too “other” to be accepted. And what better way to do this than to play on a stereotype about bisexuals that so many people grow up with, and exploit the tension between the GL and bisexual communities?

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The way to combat this is the same way that the GL communities have been dismantling the stereotypes about them or years; education. We have to step up our efforts to educate, have more out positive bi role models, more accurate representation, and more visibility. People need to see that like gay and lesbian people, bisexuals share commonalities with them.

In the meantime, “refuse to choose”, and don’t be afraid to say you are bisexual. Don’t’ say “bi-but”, but do speak up that like every community, we are a diverse bunch and it’s not right to stereotype us. If someone makes a joke or an honest inquiry about bisexuals and non-monogamy, educate them. Get involved in your local pride events and bi community—or if there isn’t one, start a group. The more people see us, talk to us, learn about us, and get to know us—the less successful arguments like the Prop 8 one will be, and the more stereotypes will be broken.

Bisexuals Used as Scapegoat in Pro 8. California Case

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Can Bisexuals Be Monogamous?

Can Bisexuals Be Monogamous?

The bisexual community can’t seem to catch a break in the year of  “blame bisexuals,” for all BLGT woes, as misleading testimony has been entered in trial of Perry v. Schwarzenegger on Proposition 8—regarding bisexuals, possibility of being the cause for the threat to heterosexual marriage.

In court documents, “claimed that the evidence would show that Prop. 8 prevents a number of related harms because allowing same-sex couples to marry allegedly would: ….(4) “Increase the social acceptability of other alternative forms of intimate relationships, such as polyamory and polygamy”;

(5) Increase the likelihood that the recognition as marriages of other alternative forms of intimate relationships, such as polyamory and polygamy, will become a judicially enforceable legal entitlement…”

Facts: Are Bisexuals Polygamous in Nature?

No! In fact, having a polyamory lifestyle has nothing to do with being bisexual. Let’s find out what bisexual and polyamory really means!

Dictionary.com states that polyamory means, “participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships.” Which means, that heterosexual couples (married or not) could also be polyamorous. In fact, many straight couples are living the polygamous life style.

Now, dictionary.com also states the word ‘bisexual’ means, “sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.” No were in this define group of words does it say, ‘group sex?’

In fact, It clearly states, [bisexuals] are attracted to both sexes—not together, not in a group or threesome—in clear terms, they like both sexes, period.

Why Do Straight and Gay Groups Alike, Confuse the Two Meanings?

To be clear, a lot of misinformation regarding bisexuals as a whole is out there, because straight, lesbians and gay groups do not understand how someone can be attracted to both sexes. It’s no difference than straights not understanding why gays and lesbians are attracted to same-sex parings. It’s called double standards or simple put, hypocritical at best.

Until both groups, heterosexual, and homosexuals come to the realization that everyone has a part to play in discrimination and acceptance of all groups. It’ll make your fight a little easier down the road, if the bisexual are accepted at face value, meaning we are real. If not, rights for all will be a long and painful process.

What is BSN’s Position on Pro 8?

Bi Social News (BSN) stands clear that we support rights to marry for all, but we also recognize that bisexuals everywhere have problems on both sides of the aisle. As a media outlet, will make no bones about exposing who they are—straight, gay or in between. If you want rights for yourself, figure out a way to be open to the rest of humanity and perhaps one day, the sea will part!

In the Media:

Adrienne Williams is the Founder and Web Producer of Bi Social News (BSN), which is a subsidiary company of AJW Media.

‘Pride Bracelet Lady’ Tiffany, Talks with Bi Social Network

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http://www.tiffanyspridebracelets.com/

Tiffany's Pride Bracelets

I originally met Tiffany, the owner of Tiffany’s Pride Bracelets last year, when I ran across her myspace page, and ordered some of her bi pride bracelets.  I liked them so much and we started talking. I also recommended them to my friends and gave them as gifts, and everyone was very impressed with them. We all wore them to pride this past summer. I wear one of Tiff’s bi pride bracelets 24/7, and I love it. It’s very well made, durable, and it looks great. It’s a subtle yet clear way of showing my pride. She is always willing to make more bracelets and takes suggestions and incorporates them into her business very well. Tiffany lives in California, where she is very active in the BTLG and black lesbian communities, and the “No on 8” movement, as well as busy making her bracelets.

Q&A questions are excerpts from an online interview.

Bi Social Network: Maria: How long have you been making pride bracelets, and how did you get into selling?

Tiffanys Pride Bracelets

Tiffany: Well Mizz M., I’ve been making and selling pride bracelets for about five years;  I’ve always loved arts and crafts since I was a kid, my whole family, including my mother, (who draws abstract art onto wood by just using regular/gel pens) are a huge influence when it comes to arts of all kind. So about a year after my grandmother passed away (God Rest Her Soul), I wanted to make something that represents gay pride, something crafty, colorful, something that looks like the gay pride flag—and then it hit me, I said to myself, “I haven’t made a friendship bracelet in fifteen years, why don’t I make one that looks like the gay pride flag?” So I did, [and it] took a few trial and errors to get it right, and once I did, I started making plenty.

As far as how I started selling them, I had my own tiny website thru AOL (before MySpace came to life), and I started promoting my bracelets thru Live Journal.com’s gay and lesbian communities for a few years. I went to some lesbian retreats and now I have my own website (thank you Vistaprint), as well as MySpace and Twitter. I’m even a sponsor for a BlogTalkRadio show called “HomoBiExchange“, hosted by my homegurl Decoi Jones .

Bi Social Network – Maria: You are a lesbian who has been very supportive of the bi community, and you’ve said that the bi community has been your best customers. I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about your relationship with both the bisexual and the lesbian communities—how you feel about both, and what have been your experiences—positive, negative?

Tiffany: I’m just a very open-minded black lesbian sistah, who gets along with everyone and doesn’t judge anyone, and who am I to judge?  I sure as bloody hell ain’t God, (Laughs). Also, as far as making bracelets for the LGBT community, I wanted to make one for the bisexual community as well. [I] didn’t want [to] leave anyone out. Plus, I love the color of the bisexual flag and what each color represents (yes, I’ve done my research), and since I’m a perfectionist, I made a bracelet that looks exactly like the flag…and I must say…selling that bracelet has been a success. I just wanted to reach out to the bisexual community and learn about their history. I refused to be some ignorant lesbian who only knows about my own lesbian community, I mean c’mon, if you’re going to be a homosexual, then be a homosexual and learn about your history, even if it has nothing to do with your orientation—but that’s just me.

As far as how I feel about both bi’s and lesbians and my experiences with both…well let’s keep it real. I was once [identifying as] bisexual, about 10-years ago or so, so yes, I’ve had experiences with both men and women in the past, and I’m not ashamed to talk about it either. I was bi-curious back in 1999, then I came out as bisexual in late 2000, [and] came out as lesbian in 2001. Around May through July of 2003, I was pansexual, and afterwards, I came back out as a lesbian!

What surprises me about me coming out as bisexual back in 2000 is that I don’t recall facing any biphobia whatsoever. I was accepted and I wasn’t judged—not even by the lesbian community.  They saw Tiff first before the orientation, and now as a lesbian, people still see me for who I am and not who I prefer.  I’m just happy and blessed that I’m accepted as a person—as Tiff, in the lesbian community, as well as the bisexual community, and that I get along with all communities—just wish more lesbian were more accepting towards bisexuals like I am.

Bi Social Network – Maria: Would you say there is still a lot of biphobia and misconception about bisexuals in the lesbian and gay communities? Have you noticed biphobia increasing or decreasing in the recent years? Does it seem like relations between the bi and gay communities are getting better?

Tiffany: I honestly feel that there still a lot of biphobia in the lesbian and gay community, and I personally feel that our own people (the lesbian and gays) are a bit hypocritical because it’s bad enough that we suffer the same kind of prejudice with the straight community—so who are we to show that same kind of ignorance within our own community? Granted, we do have our own homosexual groups that we stick with and that we feel comfortable in (i.e. black lesbian, trans., gay bears, pansexuals, etc.), but what’s wrong with stepping outside the box and learning about different communities other than your own?

Bi Social Network – Maria: Has biphobia increased in recent year and have relations between [the] bi and gay communities gotten better?   I’m fully aware that it’s everywhere; ignorance is everywhere and a lot of people are not trying to educate themselves, they [would] rather put their foot in their mouths and bash a certain group as a whole—without learning about the person first.

Tiffany: As far as relations between gays and bi’s, I still see some sort of a homo[sexual] segregation, and I guess it’s because they’re afraid of what others think, if one is friends with bisexuals, and that’s just sad. Personally, I feel that the relations within our own community could improve a little bit. We all just need to stick together and stop trippin’ about the bi’s—for not all are bad, nasty, whores, etc. …it’s those “bad,” “nasty,” “whores” that do feed up things [for] other people that gives bisexuals a bad name.

I even had to put a young, 21-year-old butch/stud in her place because she had the nerve to say that bi’s are greedy and that they need to make up their mind[s] on who they want to be with—such ignorance!

Bi Social Network – Maria: Do you have to deal with a lot of homophobia were you live?

Tiffany: Well personally, I’ve never dealt [with it] with face-to-face (I better knock on some wood!!), but as far as homophobia in my town—my goodness! When the “No on 8″ protest was happening, I’ve never seen so much homophobia in Solano County, California in my life.  It shocked the hell out of me, but it also saddened me to see that not everybody is accepting of others.

Bi Social Network – Maria: How involved are you in the BLGT community?

Tiffany: I get involved with the LGBT community as much as I can, hence making and selling Pride Bracelets for the community. Just to show my involvement in the community, I just volunteered for the women’s group at The Solano Pride Center. I help out with their garage sales when I can, and I was one of the first youth group members and a volunteer when they first started 10-years ago.

On top of that, I’m in the process of trying [to] connect with a black lesbian organization—located in Oakland, California, called NIA Collective, as far as making a new bracelet for them (crossing my fingers). In fact, they have a retreat every year in Petaluma, California called the NIA Gathering, and I’ve been attending there since 2005 and selling my handmade bracelets. Oh yes, I was even involved in a “No on 8″ protest for about three days straight, and I had a blast, I was so involved in the “No on 8″ protest that I even made a “No on 8 Theme Bracelet” in the same as the original protest poster (before they made it blue, white and red).

In case anyone doesn’t know what Prop. 8 is, it [is]—a California proposition that bans same-sex marriage, and unfortunately it made it on the ballot before elections, shortly after the supreme court decided that same-sex marriage in California is legal.

Bi Social Network – Maria: Tiffany, thank you so much for the interview!

Tiffany: Mizz M., I appreciate you interviewing me and if anyone wants to order a Bisexual Pride Bracelet (or the traditional Rainbow Bracelet) then visit my website at www.tiffanyspridebracelets.com, and shipping is free!!

Bi Social Network – Maria: So, everyone go buy a bracelet at www.tiffanyspridebracelets.com and support the pride lady! You can also find Tiffany and her bracelets on myspace, facebook, and twitter.  Note: for the facebook page, you have to log in before you can see the page. The link will take you to facebook, then go ahead and log in, and then you will see it.

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